Comfort Versus Risk

There is no more important equation in any of our lives than comfort versus risk.

‘Comfort versus risk’ is the alter at which dreams die.

It is also the crucible wherein greatness is incubated.

Let me explain what I mean.

Most people are instinctively either comfort-seekers or risk-takers. Or at least, they fall somewhere along that spectrum.

And it stands to reason that people for whom comfort is more important than anything else will take the easiest decisions—those that put the minimum personal pressure on them.

Whereas people who are comfortable with risk, or are attracted towards it, will take more audacious decisions that may or may not pay off handsomely.

There are no guarantees in life. Any course of action may or may not ‘succeed’, depending on a whole host of different mitigating factors.

But it’s fair to say that—in many cases—there is a greater likelihood that one who takes risks will see bigger rewards than one who doesn’t.

Let’s take a very simple example—daygame.

The man who decides to put his balls on the line and approach a beautiful girl he sees on the subway is 100% more likely to go on a date with her than the man who looks meekly down at his Kindle and lets the opportunity slide.

It goes without saying that the man who takes the risk of social embarrassment and rejection and approaches anyway may well not get the date either. But the likelihood of his doing so is greater.

That being the case, surely the logical thing for anyone to do in life is to take risks?

Well, no, not necessarily. They might not pay off, as we’ve seen. But more importantly even than that is that comfort is just so damn beguiling.

And therein lies the real trap.

May of us—even so-called ‘renegade playboys’ such as myself—cling to comfort in certain aspects of our lives just because, well, it’s so comfortable.

It is nicer, for example, to lay in bed with a regular girlfriend watching Netflix shows than it is to brave the Russian winter searching for new girls in the streets of Moscow.

But where will the former get you in comparison with the latter?

The former will ensure that you enjoy a very nice time. The latter might (or might not) give you an incredible time.

Whatever happens, the latter will certainly give you better stories to tell. There’s nothing exciting about telling people you spent Sunday afternoon watching the Fyre Festival documentary.

Comfort Versus Risk

When I consider my own behaviour, it seems to me that I am perpetually stuck somewhere in the middle, vacillating between comfort and risk-taking.

The last few years of my life, from 2016, have been pretty seismic, and I have taken a lot of risks. In the last three years I have changed pretty much everything about my life, from where I live, to my relationship status, to how I make a living, and so on.

This has not been without pain, struggle and difficulty, but it has resulted in me being far happier, on a daily basis, than I ever have been before.

This is not to say that I am now free of problems—far from it. But I am at least much more aligned with my path than I was before.

However, risk-taking is not a one-stop thing. It’s not enough to take a risk once and then retreat for the rest of your life. Risk-taking either becomes a habit—something ingrained in your character—or it doesn’t.

And when it doesn’t, the likelihood is you will slide inexorably back to comfort once more.

Every single day presents us with situations where we can choose to take a risk or not. Some of the risks will be worth taking and others not—that is down to your individual judgement. But overall, you will come out as someone who is either more risk-averse or less so.

Now, given that we have autonomy over our lives (to a degree at least) the thing to consider here is which would you rather be? Someone who allows events to carry him along, or someone who takes control and makes things happen instead.

The default is to go along with things and ‘see what happens’. That is what the vast majority of people do most of the time, and it is something that the rest—if they’re honest—probably do some of the time.

But we don’t have to fall into this trap. We have the power to choose—as hard as that may be sometimes.

I often think, when I get to the end of my life do I want to have been the captain of my own ship, or the cabin boy? Of course, I would prefer to be the captain.

But all too often my actions support the latter.

As I’ve observed, the choice to be a risk-taker versus a comfort-seeker is not a one-off. It’s perpetual, and every decision we face forces us to choose one way or the other.

I hope that at the end of my life I can honestly say that I’ve chosen risk more than comfort. Because otherwise I will know that I have squandered my sovereignty. That I’ve given in.

But it’s by no means easy. And as with everything in life, we can only take it one day at a time.

Live the life you want, not the life you think you should.

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