Why should a man ‘settle down’ and marry when these days it is quite conceivable that he could simply go on and date forever, or at least until such a point when his libido slows down and he is no longer interested in sex?
Consider this: the truth of the matter is that what men really want is not monogamy, per se, as much as the ability to fuck multiple attractive young women.
Now, granted, men also need love and affection. But the love and affection need not necessarily come from the same woman who is providing the sex.
This is why we often hear of men who have been married for a long time, and who are deeply love their wives, who nevertheless have affairs with other women.
Their wife provides the ‘affection’ fix (plus cares for the children and so on). Their mistresses(es) meanwhile, provide the sex.
Unfortunately—and painful as it often is to countenance—the reality is that sexual boredom sets in pretty quickly in ALL relationships.
A year or so of fucking the same person? Yeah, that’s O.K.
3 years? You’re pushing it.
5 years+ Now you’re into the hard yards. You have done everything possible together. All mystery has been eliminated, and with it much of the erotic spark that you once both enjoyed.
I should point out, by the way, that the timetable I propose above is actually very generous. In reality it’s perfectly conceivable that you will lose attraction for someone far sooner—within the first few weeks or months of sleeping with them.
It is at this point that men (and women) feel the urge to cheat. Sometimes they do so—and in so doing, wreak chaos and huge emotional pain. Other times they don’t cheat, but repress their desire to instead, causing resentment and—once again—-huge emotional pain. Just of a slightly different flavour.
Date Forever In A Shifting Marketplace
At the same time it is worth repeating (as if you didn’t already know) that the dating marketplace has, over the last few years, shifted and transformed to such a remarkable degree that it is now possible to have sex with someone simply by posting a few photographs on an app and sending a couple of messages.
The knowledge that we have of game, too, is now far more advanced than it was for previous generations, meaning that guys in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond are able to daygame in cities all over the world successfully.
So given the easily accessible nature of sex even for older guys, and given the reality of male sexuality (which demands variety), why would any guy bother to settle down?
Generally, it’s for two reasons: in order to have children, and because they fall in love.
The first of these—having kids—is a huge subject that deserves special attention in a separate article. But suffice to say, you don’t have to be married to have kids, and nor do you have to be in a domestic situation either. If having a child is really that important to you then there are other ways.
As for the second—well, yes. Men fall in love. We all do. That doesn’t mean you have to marry anyone, though. In fact, Blackdragon has gone all out on this, saying that being in love with someone is no reason at all for marriage.
Why? Well, because—as we’ve seen—‘love’ (which is really only sexual attraction + affection + scarcity) is fleeting. After a while it fades. And when you’ve ‘settled down’—and made legal commitments—on the basis of it then you are on shaky ground.
In fact, it’s reasonable to observe that a lot of men fall in love, then find themselves emotionally dependent on their wives, and then have children as a result of pressure from those wives—rather than because it was something they especially wanted to do themselves.
Frequently, this succession of events happens simply because guys think they have ‘no choice’ but to go along with the programme:
- Well, it’s what everyone does, isn’t it?
- I have to get married, otherwise I might be lonely when I’m older
- I’ve been though my period of casual sex and now I want something more ‘meaningful’.
But none of these rationalisations stand up to scrutiny. Just because ‘everyone’ does something, that doesn’t make it a good thing to do.
And getting married today is in no way a guarantee that you will still be married when you are on your deathbed: in fact, given the high rates of divorce that we commonly see, the opposite is true.
And as for the final one . . . well, whenever you hear a guy say that he’s done with casual sex, you can be absolutely certain that you are in the company of someone who is bending the truth, or at least, saying what he thinks others want to hear.
The truth of the matter, of course, is that no guy EVER ‘gets through’ his period of casual sex: instead, at some point he simply decides to ‘cash in his chips’ and commit to a woman—because he ‘fell in love’, or got lazy, or decided that this was going to be the best he’d ever get, or he bought into societal programming . . . or some combination of all of the above.
The Most Fulfilling Life Of All?
But what if you make a decision not to do any of that?
What if instead you survey the scene and say, ‘you know what, actually, I’m good. I’m not going to “settle down”. Instead, I’m just going to keep on living my life, dating, and doing work that’s important to me instead.’
What then?
Well, actually, you absolutely can do that: I know because that’s pretty much exactly what I’ve done. And I know a great many other guys who have done exactly the same thing and are living happy, productive lives.
Despite what the naysayers and the trad ninnies say about you ‘having’ to settle down in order to have a meaningful and happy life, I would argue that—for some—the opposite is true.
I’ve written before about the idea that ‘the pram in the hall’ (i.e. domestication and family life) are an anathema to creativity and (by extension) entrepreneurship.
Well, it’s true.
So for the guy who is really driven and has a purpose over and above getting someone pregnant and paying a mortgage, it may well be that he will find more meaning and happiness (not to mention sexual satisfaction) through not settling down and dating forever instead.
Far from it being the sad, lonely existence that some paint it, it could just turn out to be the most fulfilling life of all.
To learn more about my techniques for dating & game get my bundle of 8 books The Renegade Playbook for just $35 (reduced from $69) here now
To learn why weak men want to regulate the sexual marketplace go here.
