I shot a video earlier this week where I talked about my first ever daygame approach. I did the approach in a Boot’s store in Euston Station in London 14 years ago. And I still remember pretty much all of the details of it to this day.
Why?
Because—no way around this—daygame is an inherently unusual thing to do.
OK, let me take a step back from that statement just for a moment. Because the truth is a little more nuanced. In one sense, daygame is the most natural thing in the world.
After all, what could be more natural than walking up to another human being and telling them you find them attractive?
No apps, no loud nightclubs, no strange, formalised ‘dating etiquette’—instead, human beings talking to one another and expressing their authentic selves.
When put like that it all sounds rather idyllic, doesn’t it?
But on the other hand, it isn’t—because socialisation is a hugely powerful force and in many Western Countries—the UK and the USA in particular—it’s just not a cultural norm for us to walk up to one another unintroduced and start hitting on one another in the daytime.
On top of that, you have all of the—very natural—fears that come up around rejection, low self-esteem, poor social skills and so on.
Does this mean that daygame is inherently bad, or wrong? No, of course not. In fact, there’s a very good case to be made that approaching girls during the daytime in an authentic and open way is actually preferable to the sorts of machinations we see on the dating apps.
However, it’s still the case that for many guys there is a mountain to be climbed before one has acquired the necessary mindset and fearlessness to walk up to perfect strangers—and attractive ones at that—and calmly state their interest.
My first daygame approach, which I describe in the video, was a very tense moment for me. I had been reading reports online for some time of guys meeting girls in the daytime and I was keen to try for myself. It should be noted that by this time I was fairly well-versed in ‘game’, and I was going out several nights a week to clubs and bars, where I was meeting girls regularly. So I had skills, but the notion of walking up to someone in broad daylight and chatting them up remained intimidating.
One night after work, though, I endeavoured to pluck up the courage to act. I was ready—but nervous. I wanted to try out a new opening line that some guys I knew had been circulating recently online—simply walking up to the girl and saying ‘you’re beautiful’.
I went to Euston Station and had a wander around the concourse before popping into a Boots chemists. There I saw a very attractive lady queuing up for the cash register.
You know how people often say ‘my heart was beating hard in my chest?’ Well, at that moment, mine was. I really had no idea what the outcome would be of what I was about to do next, but I rather suspected it would involve the earth swallowing me up.
You’re Beautiful
I walked up to the girl
‘Excuse me,’ I said. ‘You’re beautiful’.
She looked at me, and her look shifted from initial surprise to one of pleasure. She beamed.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘No one’s ever come up to me and said that before. You’ve made my day.’
Now, as it turned out this lady was engaged to be married, and so nothing more came of our brief interaction. I didn’t get her phone number, or take her on a date. Instead, we chatted a little more and then I walked off.
And you know how I felt as I did so?
I felt good.
- Good because I had taken my life into my own hands and gone for something I wanted.
- Good because I had acted in accordance with my inner self.
- Good because I had made someone else feel good through my actions.
On that day I learned a few things. First, that ‘daygame’ is really only the old-fashioned art of, you know, talking to other human beings. And that if you get it right (not hard) it is pleasurable for both parties.
I also learned that if you approach in a fun but ultimately respectful way then the heavens will not fall, and nor will the ground swallow you up.
Above all, I learned that this ‘thing’, this approach to dating and meeting others, was actually possible.
Which sounds kind of silly when you think about it. After all, it should’ve been obvious.
But societal programming has the effect of making us all believe that we can only meet people to date in the usual, heavily-prescribed ways.
The apps, the bars, the mindless clubs . . . yada yada yada.
It’s not true—but it’s only by stepping outside of our comfort zones and taking action by actively socialising with others that we can discover this for ourselves.
How To Start Doing Daygame
And the way you do that?
The ONLY answer, I’m afraid, is that you have to simply muster up the courage, dive in and just start.
That said, you are in a very fortunate position, far better than mine all those years ago.
Because you have a ton of footage of guys going out and actually daygame for themselves. Sometimes very successfully. Other times, unsuccessfully—but you have clear evidence that no one has died in the process.
So even if you have trouble believing in yourself—and we all do at the beginning—you can at least believe in the process. In the possibility of it.
And in the possibility of your one day achieving mastery in it.
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