How To Sell Without Selling Out

You need something to sell. I do too. We all do.

I am using the term ‘sell’ in its broadest possible sense, by the way. It depends on what your immediate priority is, of course. But you need a unique selling point in every area of your life.

In dating, you need to have a USP – something going for you that makes you stand out. Same with socialising. And in business, there’s no doubt that your offer, whatever it is, needs to do something unique for your customers. Seth Godin’s book Purple Cow is brilliant on the idea that it’s far better to be different and delight a small niche rather than be huge, bland and vanilla.

Nevertheless, there is a problem here. Too often, knowing that we have ‘commercial’ objectives, we cast around for something to sell, and in the process end up selling out ourselves instead.

An example of this is when you are out with a group of people at a social setting. Say they are all huge car enthusiasts. But you couldn’t care less about cars. In this situation there might be a temptation to pretend to like cars so you can fit in with the rest of the crowd.

So you can give your target audience what you think they want.

The big problem with this, though, is that you’re not really fooling anyone. Unless you are a very fortunate and skilled bullshitter you are unlikely to be able to convince anyone who really knows anything about cars that you do too. Far more likely, you will just highlight your ignorance and look a fool instead. And in doing so you will lose, rather than gain, social equity.

You can’t pretend to be something you’re not. So even when you try to sell yourself out it is unlikely to have the desired effect. Realistically it will probably do more harm than good.

This is why I often talk about being radically authentic. You shouldn’t ‘just be yourself’—you should be yourself but with the volume and the colour turned up to eleven. You should identify the very most fundamental elements that make you you and emphasise them as much as you can.

Rather than trying to fit in with others you should seek to stand out from the crowd more. You should polish and shine your individuality so that it glows like a beacon that precedes you wherever you go.

It is only by truly differentiating yourself that you will truly attract people to you. Yes, you may well repel others, but that doesn’t matter. The key is to find and speak to your tribe.

Because those people will make your life so much better than you could ever imagine.

If you want to find out more about my ideas on being radically authentic, and radically differentiated, then pick up a copy of my book How To be an Assh*le, where I expand on this topic in detail.

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