I was recently at a dinner party in London, held by a friend of mine. The guests were mostly male but there were a couple of girls there too—an inebriated Kentuckian who left before the meal and a reasonably attractive Swedish girl Jina, a flatmate of our host’s.
Also at the party was a friend of mine, Ed. I’ve known Ed for a long time, and let me tell you, he’s nothing if not a skilled player. One of the dirty secrets of the pick-up ‘community’ is this: you might think that all your favourite YouTube guys and bloggers are the ones getting the most action, but they’re not. In London there’s a whole upper tier of alphas out there who are quietly cleaning up with the city’s hottest girls without feeling the need to ‘create content’ around it or teach other men.
Ed is one of those types. He’s married now, but previously he was an animal out on the streets of NYC, pulling prodigious quantities of hot young things for many years before finally settling down.
At the dinner party I watched him interacting with Jina and was struck by how effortlessly panty-wetting his presence was. Jina—who has a boyfriend, apparently—was clearly turned on and attracted as he hit the right spot (conversationally) time and again.
Now, what a lot of guys still don’t understand is that it really is less about what you say than the manner in which you say it. So many blokes come to me and ask me what lines they should use, what they should talk about and so on. But in the sphere of visceral sexual attraction, or vagina-delighting (or dilating) dalliances, sexual presence trumps conversational agility every time.
Of course, I don’t mean to say that there is nothing to be learned about conversational skills as there absolutely is: storytelling is very important. The ability to vibe by using statements and observations is critical. So too is spiking up the conversation with sexually suggestive comments.
Without a doubt all of these things are very important: the good news, though, is that they are not too difficult to learn.
What is perhaps harder to acquire, but which aces everything else is a dominant, sexual presence.
Here’s the thing. Was Ed’s conversation with Jina—and here I am referring specifically to the words that were used, to the dialogue that passed between them—particularly impressive? No, it was not. Did Ed utter some unique combination of Noel Coward-esque and Wildean witticisms that turned Jina’s head with their sheer brilliance and sheen?
No.
In fact, Ed’s ‘banter’ (as we Brits like to say) was pretty low level (although Ed is a highly educated man). He asked her if she would give us all a massage. He asked her if she had a boyfriend. When she said that yes, indeed she did, but he lived in another city outside of London he stood over her, rested his hands on the table at which she was sitting and demanded to know why she had had to seek sexual fulfillment outside the capital. Were London’s men not good enough for her?
No, she said—they didn’t want to commit.
So you want to lock one down? he said, and started teasing her about that.
And so on.
I think I’m fairly safe in saying that coming up with any of this stuff is not likely beyond the ability of most average guys. Because of Ed’s delivery though—his strong, deep, commanding voice, his challenging eyes, his physically dominant posture and his air of quietly-amused teasing—it was plain to see that Jina was digging it.
Proof, if it were needed, was when Ed suggested she give the men in the room massages.
‘The others, maybe. Not you though,’ she told him.
OK. Why do you think a girl telling a guy she won’t give him a massage could possibly be a good thing? Because in doing so she revealed her hand by acknowledging that she saw Ed as a sexual threat. The subtext was this: ‘I could massage all these other guys here because they’re safe. They’re not going to try anything. But not you. You have that devilish, player thing in your eyes, and I know if I get physical with you things could escalate pretty quickly.’
It’s just like what they say about the school playground—it’s the boys and girls who tease one another that fancy each other, not the ones who are nice.
‘Nice’ is a quicksand, a bog that you must avoid at all costs. Far better to be the guy at the party who she couldn’t trust herself to massage because he’s got that naughty, bad boy thing going on, than be the nice guy she might let take her on forty-five dates before finally deciding she doesn’t want to have sex with him.
So when you think about talking to girls, what you need to realise is that what you say really isn’t as important as the way in which you say it. Because believe me, it’s not the men who are the most verbally dexterous who are cleaning up with all the sweet pussy in this town: it’s the alpha guys who don’t say anything particularly intelligent but who possess that glint in their eyes that communicates they know exactly what they’re going to do to her later in the bedroom who win the game.
To find out more about how to pull hot girls day or night buy my book The 7 Laws of Seduction
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Read More: 7 Steps to Follow When Your Game Hits a Dry Spell
