Oftentimes when a guy reaches out to me to discuss game, the conversation goes something like this:
‘OK, I get that daygame / nightgame is a grind, and that you need the numbers in order to succeed . . . but does it have to be like that? Can’t I just approach off of IOIs? Or build my value up so that girls come to me? And is there a way I don’t have to approach mediocre girls so I can just go straight for the 9s and 10s already?’
What these dudes are really saying, when they ask things like this, is ‘is there an easier way to get girls than with game?‘
In other words, they want the results – sex with a variety of attractive young women. They just don’t want to put in the action. Which – in a way – is fair enough.
Most of us are lazy, at base, after all.
Most of us would rather get the good things in life with minimal effort. Because – well, we just would. Human beings are nothing if not covetous of pleasurable sensations and experiences. And having to work for these experiences seems somewhat counterintuitive. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if they just fell in our laps?
Sexual Availability
When it comes to meeting girls, we live in a culture that seems to imply sexual availability at the drop of a hat. Look at all the images of half-naked girls we see on social media, in the mainstream media, in advertising. And then think of the prominence of the dating apps – 24hr swiping machines specifically designed to enable fast hookups with strangers.
The world is telling us that this shit should be easy. That sexual pleasure should come to us automatically. And many of us believe it.
Until we discover that the reverse is true.
It’s often said on men’s websites and social media that the rewards of the sexual marketplace only accrue to a minority of guys – 20% is the oft-quoted proportion, although who knows how accurate it is in reality.
And if life demonstrates to you that you are not in that top 20 percentile then it’s fair to say that you can experience a variety of unpleasant emotions – shame, sadness, indignation, annoyance, frustration and so on.
So when a dating coach or game ‘authority’ comes along and tells you that you have to work hard in order to get that which others (apparently) get with little effort, it’s not surprising that it gets your hackles up.
Fine. I understand. I’ve been there myself.
We would all like to open the door and have a long line of beauties standing there just waiting for us to take them to bed.
But that is a version of the world which simply doesn’t exist. Not for the vast majority of guys, anyway.
And so the question remains, what are you going to do about it?
Are you going to deny that you need to put in effort to achieve your goals? Or worse, are you going to grudgingly accept it, but refuse to do the work?
Or are you going to turn your back on the whole shebang in disgust and claim that you never wanted to get good with girls anyway?
That other pastimes such as reading, lifting, growing a business, talking politics and so on, are far more worthy of your time.
Well, you can do that if you want. But the fact remains that you are programmed to want to have sex with girls.
You know it, I know it, and there’s no getting away from it.
And so that old question persists – what are you going to do about it?
What tangible steps are you going to take in order to have the sex life that you actually want?
- Will you approach 100 girls a month, every month?
- Will you move countries to somewhere where the sexual marketplace is more amenable?
- Will you at least move to a bigger city where there are better opportunities to do daygame?
- Will you learn basic game theory and then go out every day and keep trying, not matter what, to improve your skills and your results?
If you agree with the premise of this article and then say no to the above, then I’m sorry, but you really only have yourself to blame.
And then you must ask yourself another question: how much do I really want this?
Because if you admit to yourself that you want the results badly, and you have the humility to see that they are simply not going to come to you in the way you wish they would, then only one inescapable logical conclusion remains – you have to go out and put in the work.
So, instead of resisting the ‘work’ that game requires, why not revel in it? Come to enjoy it and to love it. Make the process a hobby and never mind the outcomes – they will follow in good time.
Because if something is worth having, then in most cases it’s worth whatever sacrifices you need to make to obtain it.
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