Life is easy, until it’s not. And then all of a sudden you’ll have some stupid-ass decision to make and you’ll have literally no idea what to do.
And so you’ll call your friends.
After all, what could be better than getting some input from a ‘third party’.
‘You lack perspective,’ they say. ‘You need someone to look at the situation with fresh eyes.’
Ok, well, that sounds fair enough.
And so you reach out – to a number of different people
First off, you target those who know you well. It makes sense, doesn’t it? They are aware of your history and your ambitions.
They are clearly the best people to help.
But then, you think, perhaps it would also be beneficial for me to also reach out to others who don’t know me so well. Their judgement will not be clouded by my backstory. They’re coming at this without any preconceived notions at all.
And then . . . well, just to be on the safe side, how about reaching out to someone else who has been through something similar to what you are going through right now?
Surely that person will be best equipped to tell you what’s what?
You can already see which way this is heading. Before you know it you will have been furnished with a ridiculous number of opinions which may or may not contradict one another.
But you know the real killer? You won’t be any nearer to taking the action that you need to. Why? Because 9 times out of 10 when we ask others for advice what we’re really looking for is permission to do what, deep down, we want to do anyway.
Even if we get that permission (and let’s face it, it’s not hard to get people to say pretty much anything, depending on how you frame the question) it doesn’t make taking action any easier.
Because when you make a life change you do it alone (a lot of the time). There’s no one there to hold your hand. You just have to say a prayer and take the leap.
While asking for advice can help to clarify your thoughts, it won’t help you to actually do then thing that you end up deciding to do.
With that, you’re alone.
Frequently when we talk to others about difficult decisions we’re trying to find a way to make the inevitable easier – but it doesn’t work. It never could.
So next time you need to make your mind up about something do yourself a favour and limit the number of people you speak to. It’s great to get feedback – but too much of it will confuse you, leading to inaction.
And regardless, it won’t help you with doing whatever needs to be done.
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