Many guys are disadvantaged both in terms of dating and business because they are just too damn wholesome.
This is adjacent to the problem of being ‘too nice’, but it is not exactly the same thing.
Let me explain.
Nice or not, consider this: what is your baseline level of ethical and moral laxity?
Yes, we’d all like to say that we are fine, upstanding citizens, but let’s face it, the truth (the deep-down, never-willingly-revealed-to-another truth) is that we are not.
All of us know that there are ‘grey areas’ within us that sometimes leak through to our outward conduct. Or don’t, if we are able to suppress them.
But here’s the thing. Since everyone else has those same ‘grey areas’ themselves, if you present yourself as too perfect and ‘squeaky clean’ then, on some level, you won’t be trusted.
On some level, others will suspect you have something to hide.
Which is why appearing too wholesome is not a good strategy.
Let’s take dating as an example. When the renegade playboy approaches a beautiful young lady, they converse and then exchange contact details, she is fully aware what he ‘wants’ from her—no matter how innocently he might attempt to frame the interaction.
Therefore (and perhaps counterintuitively) the more open and direct you are about your less-than-wholesome desires (i.e. your desire to have decadent and outrageous sex) the better.
I’m not saying you should couch it in those terms. That would be counterproductive. However, you should certainly not be afraid to ‘own’ your intentions, even if these are only communicated subtly through eye contact, body language and gesture.
If you believe that you are too wholesome, then the first step to counteracting it is by at least being entirely honest with yourself. You know all of your craziest and most whacked-out thoughts and fantasies, even if no-one else does. Well, become comfortable with them. Accept them as a part of you that is as equally valid as your intellect. Get right with yourself. Don’t self-censor or suppress.
Now, when you are out and about, practice becoming just a little less guarded with others everyday. That might mean not being afraid to enter into raucous banter with male friends, or even telling the odd rude joke every now and then.
Your task is to loosen up and to expand your own conception of yourself so it becomes broad enough to accommodate you as the three-dimensional, sexually-inclined animal that you are.
Then, and only then, will you become comfortable enough to lose the damaging halo of (contrived) wholesomeness around yourself, and to start becoming truly charismatic.
Then, and only then, will you begin to get what you really want.
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