Here are the top 5 ‘bad boy’ inner game mindsets you should internalise:
1. I am the star, she is supporting cast
Firstly, and most importantly, you need to flip the old paradigm – that she is on a pedestal – on its head. Instead, you must come to regard yourself as the star and her as a supporting cast member at best. Yes, this sounds terribly arrogant – well, that’s the point. You must learn to value yourself, and to put yourself first. In general, people take what is presented to them at face value. If you present as a man uniquely confident in his own abilities and attributes then other will buy into them too. This is why you should never self-deprecate. Instead you must get to a place with your self-development where you are entirely assured that you and what you are doing is important and that everything and everyone else is secondary.
2. Of COURSE she wants to date me (and she’s lucky if she does)
Following on logically from #1, if you are the star then of course she wants to date you. You are a big deal, and she is less of a big deal. Now objectively this might not be true, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you emanate that belief. It doesn’t mean that all women will actually want to date you, but brazen confidence of this type will make it more likely that some will.
3. There is ZERO competition
One of the many drawbacks of the current online obsession with guys rating themselves against other guys is that you are better off not allowing ‘the competition’ to enter your head at all. It’s much more advantageous to walk around as though you are a star without even considering whether this or that guy might outshine you. Years ago when I was a callow and naive youth I didn’t even consider things like whether others in the bar were taller or better looking than me – I just approached girls and began conversations with extreme confidence regardless. It didn’t mean that I always won out over better-looking guys, but it did mean that I created opportunities that wouldn’t have existed for myself if I’d been intimidated by the competition.
4. My needs come first – I do what I want (and I don’t give second chances)
In reality, most ‘bad boy’ traits are really about setting boundaries for yourself which you won’t allow anyone to cross. To get to this point you must have things going on in your life (i.e. a mission, building a business, some artistic endeavour, travel, whatever) and you must regard these as more important than anyone or anything else. If you do this then you will become protective of your space and time – that is, you won’t suffer timewasters, or anyone attempting to toy with your emotions. You will cut emotional vampires off without giving them a second chance- you and your work is simply too important for that.
5. I just don’t care that much
The classic bad boy is not indifferent, but he has his emotions under control and he doesn’t show them. Of course, you can’t extinguish all emotions overnight, but you can work on looking at the bigger picture and putting things into context. So that girl you liked flaked on you? No big deal – next. Practice not inflating things in your mind and instead regarding everything as ‘no big deal’. The less mental real estate you give to your problems the smaller they will seem in significance. And the good thing about this? Women tend to be drawn to the mystery of an unemotional man. Far better to be cryptic and hard to work out than have your emotions – positive and negative – spilling out all over the floor in front of her. Whatever happens, just shrug and say ‘OK’. You can grieve, vent, cry or whatever in private.
The world’s greatest INNER GAME course, CAD ACADEMY is an ACTIONABLE plan for developing charisma and the right mindset to absolutely crush it in the dating game. The course is open for new students now 5th – 12th November 2021 and includes live group coaching with me via Zoom. Find out more and join the course here now.
