The most important thing is that you see yourself clearly: self-honesty is key.
There’ll be times when you judge it prudent not to be entirely honest with others. I don’t recommend you lie, but there are situations when the playing field is not equal. When it is advisable that you keep certain cards close to your chest, or use misdirection to put your opponents off the scent.
A simple example of this is not letting people know how much you earn. You might earn a lot, but you don’t want others to realise it so you can avoid their jealousy. Thus you give them the impression that your income is lower than it really is.
Or perhaps you are out on a date with a girl to whom you are really attracted, but whose politics you vehemently disagree with. At this stage in the game there is nothing to be gained from blurting out your views. So you keep quiet, or even allow her to believe that you two are in alignment.
This is what PR men call ‘perception management’. You are—consciously—filtering what you put out for public consumption. You are controlling your own narrative. Which is not only prudent, but essential for everyone sometimes.
But what you must never do is fall into the trap of believing your massaging of the truth. Deep inside yourself you have to know what is real and what isn’t. You have to see yourself and your situation clearly.
But it isn’t always easy. Sometimes we are so busy that we hardly have time to see the wood for the trees. Other times we have a vague feeling that all is not well but we don’t want to verify it, so we shield ourselves from the truth. We might use alcohol, drugs, workaholism or other distractions to stop us from being honest with ourselves.
It is essential that we take stock regularly. Ideally we should do it every day. But if that is too ambitious then once a week is OK. When the quarter is ending, like now, we might find it valuable to take time to assess our progress against our goals to work out whether we are achieving them or not.
For me, continual self-assessment is crucial. I may not always do it, but it is crucial nonetheless. I can be very cunning. I can hide the truth about my situation from myself. And that is no good. Denial is a comfortable but ultimately destructive state. The most important thing is that I see myself clearly and take appropriate action where necessary. Awareness, and constant vigilance, is key.
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