I like incremental improvements. Or rather, what I like is taking a particular skillset and then working on it every day. This, I find, takes me to a higher level more efficiently than the ‘crash course’ approach where, by applying huge focus in a short period of time, you attempt to achieve mastery.
There are many things that I do every day but there are four in particular that are worth mentioning in this context. I write every day, I meditate every day, I say affirmations every day and I approach women every day.
While I love the results that each of these things can bring (but are not guaranteed to bring), doing them isn’t always all that fun. But by doing them every day, by making them a habit—or a ritual—in my life, I find that I improve at each incrementally.
Practice makes perfect, true, but the frequency of practice is key if you want to change your life.
In one sense it’s pretty obvious that if you do something each day then you will likely see improvements over time. What is perhaps less obvious, but which has become apparent to me as I have persisted with each of the practices I mention above, is that frequency takes the pressure off each individual action.
Let me explain. Say you only approach a couple of girls a year, which is the habit of most men (at best). How do you imagine you will feel as you clench your fists and screw up all of your courage ready to make that all-important bi-annual dive into the unknown?
Of course you will feel nervous. How could you not? If you only give yourself two chances a year not to mess something up then the pressure is really on not to mess up. Not only will you be out of practice and lack any sort of social momentum whatsoever, but you will also have a huge burden of perfomance on you.
Contrast this with the experience of a man who approaches women as a matter of course as a part of his everyday routine. This guy does have practice, he does have momentum. But even more importantly, by making approaching a daily habit he has taken significant pressure off himself. Because you know what, if today’s approach to that cute girl on the subway goes disastrously wrong then who cares—there’ll be another approach tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after ad infinitum.
Men often talk about the desirability of abundance in game (that is, having lots of options). But what I’ve found is that simply approaching regularly even if the girls are not hooking just yet gives you all the sense of abundance you need. For a start, it opens your eyes to how many desirable women there actually are out there (other than your one, special snowflake oneitus). Secondly, it is likely that you will get at least a few positive signals from the market, which should give you confidence that, even if not now, soon you will see an upturn in your fortunes.
When you build something up into a huge milestone that has to be crossed, then psychologically you are at a disadvantage. If, on the other hand, it’s just one of those things you do habitually then after a while you will hardly even think about it.
This is also true of writing. Would-be writers talk a lot about the fear incited by the blank page. What happens if you sit down to work only to discover that you have writer’s block?
Actually, these days I hardly ever get writer’s block because I sit down to write every day. Strangely, while you might imagine that a greater frequency of work would dry up the well of inspiration, if anything the opposite is true. Not only do daily writing sessions seem in some way to connect one more deeply with one’s subconscious, thereby uncovering new content for further work, but again, writing every day takes the pressure off what you are doing.
I don’t mean to suggest for a second that I am anything less than obsessed with delivering the highest quality possible to my readers. At the same time, though, when a site is updated daily (and sometimes more than once a day) it stands to reason that not every single article is going to resonate with every single member of the audience. Which frees me up enormously to experiment, trying out different kinds of content from ‘How To…’ pieces, to memoir, to reviews, to philosophical musings to self-help and more. And if one day an article fails, for whatever reason, to hit the mark then both you, my dear reader, and I can relax in the knowledge that tomorrow is another day and with it will come a fresh Troy Francis article.
Another point, which I will leave you with, is this. I’m not trying to be the world’s greatest pickup artist, or the world’s greatest writer. That doesn’t interest me. What I’m trying to do is be someone who gets laid and who writes. There’s a big difference, and what it has to do with is the ego.
If I can successfully remove my ego entirely from the processes of pick-up and writing, then what will remain is someone who practices both crafts consistently every day. I won’t worry about rejection and I won’t worry about the odd bum sentence, or superfluous article, and so my mission—to do rather than to be—will continue unabated rather than faltering in the face of temporary rejections and failures.
And in the end, who do you think is more likely, statistically speaking, to be successful? The man who is consistent, or the man who periodically stumbles and retreats?
To find out more about how to pull smoking hot girls night or day buy my book The 7 Laws of Seduction
Awesome post. The same is true for anything you want to improve- health and fitness or even studying. A little amount every day is much easier and less pressurized than a single monumental event. Successful habits are the key to success! *Off to do my approach for the day*
Indeed – it works for all disciplines. Thanks for the comment! Good luck with that approach!