In the end, game, with women and in life, is about nothing less than challenging the dominant narrative that surrounds you.
And you thought it was just about chatting up a few girls, right?
Perhaps I’m getting a little deep and reflective for a Saturday evening. But the more I consider the matter the more it seems to me that the very essence of game in its broadest sense is about a refusal to accept the status quo and a willingness to impose your own frame on the world around you.
In some senses then game is a violent act. Of course I don’t mean physically violent. I mean violent in the sense that it is disruptive. That it represents a point blank refusal on the player’s part to accept a mediocre life.
Imagine you are a short, not particularly good-looking guy who is skinny and not very good socially. Imagine, too, that you came from a relatively poor background and therefore have no advantages as far as money is concerned.
What are you meant to do then? Society reckons you should put up and shut up. Accept your lot, get an unattractive girlfriend (if you’re lucky) and work a backbreaking, uninspiring job.
But why should you accept that? Or to put it another way, if you are willing to accept that then you’re basically acknowledging that the system is right, that you are mediocre and that all is right with the world.
Personally I have never been able to tolerate, even for a second, the perception that I am in any way ordinary. I believe this tendency has helped me considerably in both my game and and in my career.
By having an over-inflated self-image I’ve been able to bulldoze through certain obstacles that might have stood in my way otherwise.
Does that mean that objectively I think I’m god’s gift? No, of course not. Objectively I’m a man working on improving his situation like anyone else. In fact many are much further along the line than me.
But an unshakeable core belief in my own abilities, in my own uniqueness has been very beneficial, I think. Call it narcissism, call it delusional, call it arrogance, the fact is that as a tool it works well and is particularly effective when picking up girls.
I am not for a moment advocating that you become so delusional that you lose your grip on reality. No, you need to develop a kind of dual vision where you are simultaneously aware of your weaknesses but are also so infused with reckless self-belief that you forge on anyway.
Mind over matter is an incredibly important, powerful concept. We have seen people do amazing things – Paralympians performing unbelievable feats, ugly dudes getting great with girls, people making fortunes against the incredible odds.
Understand that objective reality doesn’t really matter and is a debatable concept anyway.
What you must do is challenge every narrative which is designed to put you down or in a box marked ‘not good enough.’
Whose rules are you playing by anyway?
There is not just one game going on, there are many games. Therefore why play a game where the rules are rigged against you?
Make up your own game. Play by your own rules.
You should walk around a room like you own it even when there are people who are negative about you within it
You are not playing by their rules as that is a game you can’t win. You are living to your own standards and if others can’t accept that then to hell with them.
This is a complex topic that I’ll be returning to in future, but hopefully this gives you a sense of my thinking for the time being.
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