Which Gender Is Most Ruthless In Relationships & Life? | Degenerate Diaries

I was inspired to write about ruthlessness after reading an article about how the Winter 2020 Love Island UK winner Paige Turley cheated on her former boyfriend, the singer Lewis Capaldi, with his best friend while they were still in college. In an article in The Sun newspaper a source describes the affair like this:

‘Paige pretends to be a nice girl but within months of dating Lewis, she was cheating with Garry, one of his best friends. Lewis adored Paige, and at that time he would have done anything for her. But she obviously didn’t feel the same or else she wouldn’t have betrayed him. Those of us who knew what was going on felt she was pretty heartless. Eventually she dumped Lewis and began officially dating Garry instead, leaving Lewis absolutely devastated. He really thought they had a future’

A cursory search for more information on Garry reveals him to be something of a chad, as you might expect. Standing next to Lewis Capaldi in one photograph he appears to be both taller and better looking than the singer.. While Capaldi went on to become more famous, with huge chart success, including 2 number one singles in the UK, and a huge debut album Divinely Uninspired To A Hellish Extent, it seems that Garry was also a budding musician who’s appeared on X Factor and narrowly missed out on getting into the band One Direction. It’s therefore quite possible that at the time Paige jettisoned Lewis for Garry the latter looked like he was going to be the more successful Paige is also particularly welcoming of the limelight, it seems. Before going on to win Love Island she had previously appeared on Britain’s Got Talent, showcasing her (considerable) vocal abilities, which she was also recently able to demonstrate in the talent show episode of Love Island. So while Paige’s relationship with joint-winner Finn Tapp appears genuine, and I’m sure they like one another, a cynic might argue that her whole ‘journey’ on the show was designed to win her more exposure for her singing career – and indeed, that her previous relationships with both Lewis and Garry were also a part of that strategy. Whether or not this is the case I can’t say, and nor can anyone else. But it’s an interesting case study on what could potentially be regarded as female ruthlessness from the outside. Which begs the question, are women more ruthless than men, both in terms of their sex and careers?

Who’s The Most Ruthless?

The first thing to note is that women certainly CAN be ruthless in these areas. There is a phenomenon in relationships known as the ‘light switch effect’, that takes place when a woman who has previously been enamoured of a man – singing his praises to family, friends and on social media – suddenly flips, like a light-switch, and acts as though she never liked him in the first place. This is something that can often blindside the unfortunate man, who, believing himself to be the recipient of her unconditional love, allows himself to rest on his laurels, only to be dismayed when the blow falls. It is also well-known that women can be ruthless in corporate situations where – arguably – they must take on more traditionally masculine traits in order to succeed. And certainly there is plenty of anecdotal evidence that female bosses can be demanding, something which I myself have observed in the past. In the case of relationships I think it is undeniable that women can display a ruthless streak. Most men have some kind of ‘light-switch’ story to tell. But the reason for this is pretty straightforward. Women after all have an inherent and pressing need to find the best possible mate they can in order to procreate with. And if you are not him – or if she believes that she can do better elsewhere – then there’s a reasonable chance she’ll move on in order to maximise her genetic potential. Not that Paige was necessarily considering having kids with Garry by the way – perhaps she felt herself to be too young at that time – but the subconscious drive remains present nonetheless. There is also the theory that in the more turbulent and bloody times of antiquity it was evolutionarily advantageous for women to be able to ‘move on’ quickly with a new partner. After all, if her main provider figure was suddenly killed by a rival tribesman, then for the sake of any offspring it would have been beneficial for her to seek provisioning elsewhere, rather than to risk her child’s safety by mourning too long over her loss. With all of that said, though, are women more ruthless than men? No, I don’t believe so. Men are quite capable of being just as ruthless in the dating marketplace, as well as – of course – in the boardroom. But this is perhaps tempered by their comparative lack of urgency, their desire for comfort and their lack of options. Simply put, men don’t have to worry about their ‘biological clock’ for reproduction so much. In addition, guys tend to rather like routine and comfort, and most men would prefer to maintain a substandard relationship than rock the boat and potentially have to enter the dating marketplace once more. Finally, the stark reality is that women tend to have more dating options than men do. So while Paige, as an attractive young woman, was able to move effortlessly from Lewis to Garry, for Lewis finding a replacement was likely something of an uphill battle – at least until his musical success ensured that the aphrodisiac of fame kicked in, that is. But a successful man with many sexual options can be just as ruthless as any woman. Take, for example, Leonardo Di Caprio, who has a famous predilection for dating only women under the age of 25. It would appear, tracking the course of his previous partners, that he has little compunction in ditching them to move onto the next glamorous young ingenue when they got ‘too old’ In the end, one’s ability to be ruthless is directly proportional to the amount of power one wields. And the higher up the chain you are in either the dating marketplace, the career totem pole, or any other type of hierarchy, the more ruthless you are in danger of becoming. Follow me on YouTube here Sign up for my daily email here Buy Renegade Dating Blueprint here. Watch the video version of this post here **Image royalty free and taken from Unsplash