I saw an amusing Tweet yesterday by someone called @kitten_beloved and I liked it so much that I immediately retweeted it. Kitten had herself retweeted a picture of Elon Musk with his girlfriend Grimes originally shared by someone called @gasstationbarbie who had written above it ‘what do they have in common like what do they talk about I want to know’.
Yes, the languid faux-ennui of an individual too bored to bother with anything so boomer-ish as punctuation is annoying AF. Nevertheless, the Tweet reveals a common misconception about relationships that it worth commenting on, namely that in order for it to ‘work’ you and your S.O. must have ‘lots of things in common’. This mode of thinking was ridiculed by @kitten_beloved who jibed ‘People think the secret to relationships is that you both like rock climbing’.
Kitten was right on target: anyone who thinks that the glue that enjoins couples is composed solely of ‘interests’, ‘hobbies’ and, even worse,’cultural reference points’ is a buffoon who likely needs to get out and live a little more
The fact is that at 49 Elon is 17 years older than his paramour, who is 32. This alone, quite apart from Grimes being a techno-hippyish weirdo artist and Musk being a billionaire rocket builder, would be enough for most normal folks to shake their heads and opine that ‘it’ll never last’.
But it there’s one thing we can be certain of it is that ‘normal folks’ are almost always wrong, and this issue is no exception. Because when you’re talking about something as intangible as why two individuals bond it is reductive in the extreme to suggest that it’s all down to whether they both watched The Wonder Years when they were kids, or whether they both enjoy ice hockey, or indeed, rock climbing.
I’m not saying there’s any harm in you and your partner liking the same pastimes. Many couples do and that’s cool. But activities in themselves don’t provide the spark. The spark – otherwise known as chemistry – is nebulous. Game sometimes purports to be able to ingnite it and occasionally it can help, but in the majority of cases it is organic. And it exists quite apart from anything so mundane as ‘shared interests’.
I personally have dated a number of girls younger than me and from backgrounds very different to my own. These were some of my most succesful relationships, by which I mean, these are the women with whom I got on the best. And quite frankly, nothing appals me more than the prospect of shaking up with someone just because they remember the same episodes of Blue Peter as me from watching them as a kid.
Variety, after all, is the spice of life. Vive la difference! Only a dullard in cowed abeyance to the drab mores of moronic tradition would elect to pursue a partner of exactly the same age and background as him in the mistaken belief that this is the ‘safer’ option.
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