I never expected it, but a central issue that I’m now facing in my career is working out exactly who and what I want to be.
That may sound esoteric, and a first-world problem, and it really is. Nevertheless, if you build a personal brand business like I have then it is one that perhaps you too will face.
You see, I started out writing exclusively about game and dating. Actually, I would class myself more as a memoirist than an instructional game writer (although I’ve written a great many ‘how to’-style articles both here and on ROK etc.), since a lot of my best-received stuff has been descriptions of girls and the situations I’ve ended up in with them.
If I look at the stats for this website (and I’m doing what they tiresomely call a ‘deep dive’ into all of that in October) then I can see that my figures have been at their height when I’ve published the most scandalous, outrageous stories of depravity in the sex clubs of London and Berlin.
As you might expect, such material draws people in, and many read those articles who are probably not my core audience, but who are simply looking for something naughty to get off on.
Well, that’s fine—they are more than welcome.
But the intention, of course, is to make money. (Yes, I’m sorry to break it to you but I do do this in order to make a living. Yes, there’s a lot of love there too, but look, Torture Garden tickets and flights to Russia don’t pay for themselves.
And while I’ve had some truly exceptional audience figures for this site, that doesn’t necessarily translate to cold, hard cash in my bank account.
Girth As Well As Length
In more recent times, as you will be aware, I’ve broadened out my repertoire and started talking about online business (in particular personal branding) as well as the game stuff.
Now, from a lifestyle point of view, both subject matters are clearly interrelated. Why? Well, very simply, I am someone who has studied the seductive arts for a long time, and who is obsessed with sensuality and hedonism…but I also have to pay for it. And finding a conventional job too constricting, my solution has been to move into online business to cover my extravagances.
I do, however, concede that I may—over the summer—have strayed too far from the ‘girls’ stuff into the ‘business’ stuff, and altered my content in a way that’s not to everyone’s taste.
Certainly I have had some private feedback from readers to that effect, and, well, the numbers don’t lie. Visits to this website have fallen over the last 6 months (although they are now coming back up again and I that trend will continue).
However, numbers in themselves are not everything (apart from profit numbers—they are everything). As I’ve always said, the size of your audience matters less than the level of engagement they have with you.
It all goes back to the famous Kevin Kelly essay about ‘1000 true fans’. If you have just 1000 people in the whole world who absolutely adore your stuff, and you put out £250 of product for them to buy in a year, then you will make £250,000 a year.
Which is not bad. Unless you are a Tai Lopez wannabe and you want a Lambo.
What Do You Want To Be?
But in my case all of this points to a deeper conflict which more sharp-sighted readers have doubtless picked up on, namely, what do I actually want to be, and what to I really want to write about?
Do I want to be the phantasm-poet, stalking the corridors of the sex club and the strip bar, relating the dark and erotic tales of the fallen ladies and gentlemen within? Do I yearn to be a modern-day Baudelaire, recording the cruel and unusual excesses of the modern sexual marketplace?
Alternatively, do I want to be a clean-cut self-development or business coach who teaches men how best to build careers outside of the mainstream and to create lives of freedom and happiness.
Or could I be both?
Only to an extent. Can I sell a product like Personal Brand Mastery, my online course which breaks down exactly how I make an income from writing articles about sex parties. Yes, I can—and it’s selling fantastically well—because all I’m doing is laying out my experience for other people to learn and profit from.
Certainly, if you want to learn how I swan around writing poetic articles about love and loss, and travelling to Europe while not having a proper job, then it’s definitely the course for you.
Could I therefore become a Wade Alters-style ‘lifestyle development’ instructor? Well, yes, I probably could. Certainly, having worked in advertising for coming up to 20 years, and having now created my own business, I have the knowledge and abilities to pass on to people.
The bigger question, though, is would I want to? If I go down that route, would my heart really be in it?
Would I be being true to myself?
And the answer to that, I think, is no.
Feel It
You see, I know when something I write, or a piece of content I produce, hits the spot. I know because I can feel it—and then people email me and send me messages and share their own stories back.
And almost always that happens when I’ve written something that I’m either libidinally attached to, or which moves me deeply in some way.
In the end, as a writer (for that is what I am) I am in the business of passing on emotions from me to you.
And whenever I stray into territories where that is not happening to as great an extent (for example, when I write about the nuts and bolts of online business) then I know in my heart I am not having the impact that I could.
I am not sharing what is of greatest value to me, and what will therefore be of greatest value to my readers.
All of this is why I’ve started recently to write more about what I have called the ‘renegade playboy’ life. This is a bridge that connects the two worlds, since, to be crude, the way that I maintain my notorious lifestyle is through online business.
And I know there are many other guys who would like to know how I do it.
On the one hand you have girls, travel, decadent adventures and writing. And on the other you have the money-making apparatus to keep it all going. And there is an umbilical cord between the two.
But in the end I have always seen myself as a Bukowski or a Pete Doherty rather than a Tim Ferris-type. And ultimately, therefore, it is to the more literary and scandalous material that I find myself drawn.
I will of course continue to write about business, since that also fascinates me, and it genuinely is central to my lifestyle (I am as addicted now to copywriting as I ever was to hard drugs). But whenever I do, you should always take it in the context of my broader lifestyle. So if I write a piece on, say, affiliate marketing, it’s not because that subject matter is in itself inherently sexy, but rather that if I do well with affiliate sales during the month then I can book a short-term flight to Moscow and live it up there for a couple of weeks before retreating back to work in London or Berlin. And I want to teach you how you can do the same thing.
Life is not a one-dimensional or straightforward thing, and their are diverse strands to everyone’s life. Even the most glamorous and outlandish people also have to sort out their bills and wash their clothes.
However, I recognise that for the people who read my writing I am primarily an entertainer (even as I pass on my experience and knowledge), and I am more than aware that my first duty is to you.
Therefore, I will continue to follow my instincts and to plumb the very depths of the contemporary sexual chimera so that you don’t have to. And at the same time, I will sprinkle in details of how I make the money to be able to do so.
I think that’s a balance that works
But as always, any comments or thoughts from you are very gratefully received.
If you are interested in finding out more about Personal Brand Mastery, go here.
