One problem with getting older is that you’ve done everything before. Not absolutely everything, of course (more on that later). But by my age (late 40s) when you’ve seen quite a few seasons pass it’s difficult to avoid a feeling of sameness and ennui.
You meet a girl. She’s cute, but her reactions are almost an identikit version of those of that other girl you dated two years ago. You go to a new city only to find the same stores – H&M, Zara, Starbucks, McDonalds etc. You listen to music – some of it thrills you, but strangely the narcotic effect of that new song wears off more rapidly than before.
An example – there are songs I’ve been listening to for over 30 years that are STILL fixtures on my playlist. I listen to them time and again, never getting bored. Tracks by The Smiths, Depeche Mode etc. When we were in Poland I discovered the new album by John Grant on Spotify and listened to it obsessively for a 48 hour period, in particular the track Just So You Know. After that time had elapsed my fascination died. I haven’t played the album again since.
I love all types of music and I make an effort to discover new stuff. I Shazam constantly. I was doing this all the time I was in Russia with Tusk and I’ve amassed a playlist of something like 100 tracks – it includes some gems and a lot of pop dross (which I love too). However – and this is something I’ve heard people older than me complain about – because there’s nothing new under the sun you can immediately identify the reference points for new music. A lot of the time old tracks have been sampled. For example, when I was in Krakow I heard a dance track that borrowed the main riff from ‘Situation’ by Yazoo. It’s a great riff, but it’s not new (to me, at least. The kids in the club, who presumably have never heard of Yazoo – who has these days? -seemed to be loving it).
This feeling of ‘sameness’ that follows me around and which I need to shake is exacerbated by a culture that very deliberately looks to the past for inspiration. Dua Lipa’s great ‘lockdown’ album Future Nostalgia was very clearly influenced by the 80s and 90s. She has some great songs, but is ultimately reworking the past.
So what is the solution for a man like me, wandering the world without much purpose beyond my own desires and entertainment? Well, work is key. Teaching students is great because it gets me out of my head and concentrating on their problems and issues instead. And seeing others succeed is a tonic. Writing and content creation too are essential – I do believe the old adage that if the thing that you want to consume doesn’t exist out there then you should invent it yourself. Production is always more satisfying than consumption.
I also believe that pushing oneself and seeking out new experiences, new stimulation, new countries, new ways of life is necessary, perhaps even more so as you age. Whereas for younger people everything seems new, when you’ve lived for a while it is incumbent on you to seek out the novel for yourself.
Unfortunately for many men this is impossible since they’ve boxed themselves into a corner with marriage, family commitments, work and so on. Because – perhaps more by accident than design – my situation is a little different there are no excuses for me not to discover new frontiers.
Maybe that’s the case for you, too?
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Nice