Renegade Dating: How Much Do Looks Matter?

Let’s be under no illusions here: if you want to achieve success in the dating arena as a guy then how you look matters – a lot.

There is a kind of doublethink at play sometimes as guys have this idea that women are less looks-orientated than they are.

Now, in part that’s true (more on that in a moment). But to ignore the deification of male models with chiseled jawlines and ripped abs in our society is myopic to say the least.

Why do you think all those guys on billboards and magazine covers are good-looking? Why movies actors and pop stars are aesthetically-pleasing?

It’s because women find them attractive! And men aspire to be like them so they too may be considered hot.

OK then. So we’ve established that it is a fundamental biological fact that women like good-looking men, and this is borne out in the culture. What now? If you’re not good looking should you just go and cry in a corner someplace?

No, of course not. Because the great thing—as far as men are concerned—is that our attractiveness is not just predicated on the way we look. It is also based on a whole host of other macro and micro indicators which, boiled down, pretty much equate to how ‘powerful’ we are.

Heterosexual women are attracted to men who display masculine characteristics. Traditionally these are associated with power: strength, wealthy, political influence and so on.

Why do you think guys with big muscles are popular with (some) women. Or rich guys? Or politicians?

We have ALL seen the stereotypical ‘ugly’ guy with a beautiful girl. And we all immediately rack our brains, trying to work out what it is he has ‘got’ to have attracted her.

What ‘it’ normally is is power in some shape or form.

It’s important to note, though, that ‘power’ is not all about being ripped or being a millionaire. ‘Power’ is also expressed in other ways, which explains why the penniless guitarist with a rock band gets laid with beautiful girls. His power is expressed through his talent, his ‘status’ with his audience, his creative ability and so on.

The very best and simplest way of communication ‘power’ though is simply to be extremely confident. Why? Because a man who is confident—it is assumed—must have *some* reason for being so.

Finally, another thing to bear in mind is that what is though ‘good looking’ varies from girl to girl, and from culture to culture. A man who is considered a 4 in NYC might be an 8 in Bangkok for example. so never fall into the trap of thinking that the aesthetic scorecard is written in stone.

With all of this in mind, what is the best course of action to take? Quite simply:

– Make yourself as attractive as you can by working out, grooming, dressing well, etc.
– Hone other elements of your life and persona that point to power
– Improve your self-confidence
– Travel to other locales to see how you are received there.

In summary, looks are very important. but they are not the *only* factor involved in successful dating. As always, change what you can, accept the rest, and keep going out and meeting new girls.

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