How To Go Out To A Club Solo To Pick Up Girls

Glyn, a cool guy who I often chat to over at Twitter asked me if I frequently go out to bars and clubs alone, if so how I managed myself, and whether I walk around all night.

It’s a good question, and one I’ve not really addressed in article form before. The answer to the first part is yes, I do night game alone on a fairly regular basis, in clubs at least.

I don’t tend to do bars alone that much, since it seems to me that it’s far easier to melt into the crowd in a club, and so your being alone is less noticeable. 

I’m not saying that running solo is anything to be ashamed of, by the way, or something you need to go out of your way to hide. At the same time it’s always been my policy to limit those factors that women might potentially question or have an issue with. After all, why make the job harder for yourself than it already is? 

The advantage of a busy club is that there are so many people there that no one really knows who’s with who, and generally no one really cares, either. 

Another advantage for clubs for me personally is that if the music’s good then that provides an additional element of entertainment.

After all, I’ve been going to clubs for the music since I was 18, long before I ever got into game, or would even dare to chat a girl up.

And because I no longer drink, I prefer the environment to be at least a little bit stimulating. True, a bar can be too, but unless it’s very busy I feel you can look a bit like Billy-no-mates, which is never a good thing. 

(Yes, I’m aware some readers will advocate being the life and soul of the party and befriending people in the venue, other guys etc. I do this to an extent, but my approach is far more sniper-like. I prefer to emerge from the crowd, do my thing and then disappear again. With the girl, ideally). 

So when I write about night game here I am usually talking about clubs. To answer the second part of Glyn’s question, yes, if I’m solo in a club I tend to keep moving, walking around the place over and again throughout the night. 

There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, I believe that momentum is very valuable and if I stand in the one place (or worse, sit down) then I tend to lose it very quickly. Walking keeps me alert and in a sociable mood. 

Secondly I am addicted to scoping out venues, seeing who’s there. Over the course of a night in a club you will find many new people coming in. I make it my business to be aware of them, paying particular attention to the hot girls, of course. 

A third advantage of walking around is it enables you to pick up on IOIs. The truth is that many girls are at the club to meet guys (or at least they’re not averse to it). By walking around you may notice some prolonged eye contact from a particular lady, constituting and ‘easily win’. This is far more likely to happen when you are mobile than if you are slumped in a corner.

A fourth advantage of walking around is that if you do it right you can give the impression that you are indeed the life and soul of the party. 

I will always start socialising as soon as I can once I’m in the club to acclimatise myself. I’ll start with small, easy steps and build up from there. 

For years my strategy was to walk around high-fiving girls. It takes minimal investment, it doesn’t look like you’re hitting on anyone and it also sneaks a little bit of physical contact in there as well. 

Recently when I’ve been going out I’ve stopped doing that. Instead I tend to look girls in the eye, smile, and say hello as I pass—but in an arch, lightly flirtatious way. 

Sometimes this will lead to a conversation on the spot. Many times it won’t, but it’s good groundwork for later since when you approach her again it will seem more warm than cold. 

As with daygame, what I find is that this ‘warm up’ oils the wheels and makes me far more voluble and confident as the night goes on. 

Often my first few ‘proper’ interactions—when I’m actually engaging girls in conversation—can be stilted and a bit awkward since I’m still not at warp-speed, game-wise. I’ve learned not to worry about this too much. You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. 

What I’ve found is that as the night goes on I ease into it and become more daring, more cocky, more funny and more flirtatious incrementally. 

It’s perhaps no coincidence that this is in step with the girls, who are also becoming relaxed in the environment (perhaps by having a few drinks) and more open to approaches. 

A typical night for me is to suffer a couple of blowouts early on and then to enjoy a couple of ‘nearly on’ interactions where the girl clearly likes me, or is at least amused by me, but for whatever reason it doesn’t stick. 

Then, later in the evening and fully in the groove I will often meet a girl who is attracted to me (often but not always. There are no guarantees in the game, remember). 

This will generally lead to making out, and then it’s a question of determining logistics, which basically either means can I get her to come home with me tonight or (in the case of certain parties) can we have sex in the venue. 

If neither of these things are possible then I will always take her number or Facebook details (or whatever). Guys who say taking phone numbers in clubs doesn’t work these days are wrong. I’ve slept with plenty of girls whose numbers I’ve taken through nightgame. Sure, your chances of seeing her again drop dramatically once you’ve both gone home for the night, but I was taught to treat pickup like sales. Go for the best deal first (sex), but if that’s not available then you should at least give yourself a fighting chance of following up another time.

If girls ask me who I’m with, or where my friends are, I tend to gesture vaguely behind me and say ‘in there somewhere. It’s crazy in here tonight.’ This isn’t strictly lying since I often go to places where I know people, and anyway, we’re all just friends who haven’t met yet, right? 😉 

This is the thing that guys worry about most when they consider going out solo (‘will it look weird?’) and they really shouldn’t. The fact is that if you give a passable excuse then most girls don’t care who you came with or if you’re now alone and it won’t prevent you from pulling.

Another technique is to partner up with another solo guy in the venue to handle ‘two sets’ or groups of girls. Often this will happen naturally anyway – many times I’ve got talking to a girl who’s friend is being chatted up by someone else and me and the other guy become default ‘wings’ for the next hour or however long it takes. 

You can’t trust every guy of course, but generally there’s a tacit understanding between men about what we’re all trying to achieve and guys will help you out as long as you’re cool. 

Nights vary wildly in quality. Sometimes I make out with several girls but get no sex. Other times I have sex with a girl really early on at the venue and then get nothing for the rest of the night. Other times I’ll meet a girl who is really into m but it’s far too early in the night and I end up losing her for whatever reason. Sometimes I leave empty handed. Other times everything goes to plan.

It really is a crap shoot out there. But then I guess that’s why they call it game.