A sure way for people to fail at opportunities in life, business, and in dating is by half-assing it — that is, deciding on a course of action but then not following through with sufficient commitment.
This is something you should avoid if you want “deep” experiences that transcend the superficial. Whenever you do anything, you should give it all you’ve got in that moment to ensure that you live in the most visceral, meaningful way possible.
Live Each Moment With 100% Commitment
Last summer I traveled to the south of France to see a good friend of mine get married. Now, this man is not naive and is fully cognizant of the pitfalls that can befall the unwary. He has also been very successful both in business and with girls.
Five years ago he met a girl who had all the characteristics he desired in a long-term partner—good looks, and also a sweet, feminine nature as well as traditional values and the desire to raise a family. Wanting kids himself he proposed and they hired a beautiful chateau in the French countryside to tie the knot.
The ceremony was attended by this guy’s player friends from NYC as well as a great many affluent individuals from Europe and the US. Throughout, dressed in a snappy velvet designer suit, my friend was ebullient and played the role of the dashing bridegroom with complete conviction.
When we talked about it afterwards he had something interesting to say.
It’s not that I don’t have my doubts about marriage, Troy. Of course I do. But I want a family and I’ve chosen to stick with this girl. Now, things may not turn out the way I want them to. But you saw me up there making my speech. I committed 100%. Even if you think that doubts may arise in the future, to get the most out of life you should own everything you do entirely. If you change your mind somewhere down the line afterwards, at least in that moment you’ve experienced whatever that thing was on a deep level.
If you’re going to do something then you might as well do it like you mean it. That way you’ll get more out of the experience than if you just go through the motions.
If you want to be a player, then be a player—go out as often as you can and interact with as many girls as possible. If you like a girl and you get into a relationship with her then have fun being her boyfriend and don’t get hung up on whether walking around theme parks hand-in-hand wearing matching sweaters is cool or not. If you want to start a business then take a deep breath, commit, and give it everything you’ve got.
In each case you should keep giving all you’ve got until such time as you change your mind and decide to take another course, or until the situation for whatever reason becomes unworkable (i.e. your business goes bust or things turn sour with your girl).
Life is characterized by uncertainty and it can often be difficult to know whether we’ve made the right decision or not. Should you leave the firm you work for? Should you take that new job? Should you move to Eastern Europe? Should you start your own business or form a relationship with that particular girl? In each of these cases there are too many unforeseen variables to calculate which call is the “right” one.
Instead of worrying, though, it is far better to embark on a course of action and proceed with 100% commitment as though you are absolutely certain that what you are doing is right. Of course, you should always take advice, but beyond that, by committing to the thing entirely you will enjoy a far greater depth of experience than you would by simply dipping your toes into the water.
And remember, nothing is forever. If things don’t work out, you can always change tack down the line.
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First published at ROK
