This is an excerpt from my 2018 book 50 SHADES OF GAME VOL 1
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Aside from all of the beautiful women at BDSM clubs like Torture Garden—and there are a great many—you also get a good number of handsome, tall, well-built ‘jock’ men there too. This flies in the face of any suspicion you might have had that the fetish scene caters only to shrivelled old guys in raincoats, or strange pervs in gimp suits.
When you head to a fetish party it is not, as I have said, a free-for-all. It is a hyper-sexualised environment where pretty much everything is on show and where you will face intense competition. And the thing about TG in particular is that, far from being a specialized place for BDSM-enthusiasts, it is fairly mainstream.
What you tend to see is what I call ‘Chelsea boys’—good-looking lads from wealthy families, who probably attended the best schools and universities in the UK and who are there because they’ve cottoned on to the fact that buying a pair of black latex shorts in Soho gains them entry into this sexual paradise where there are girls up for quick and anonymous fun.
I don’t blame them.
But this should puncture any idea that you might have had about the fetish scene somehow being an ‘easy’ place to access sex. Even guys who are relatively in the know in pickup will say things to me along these lines, revealing that they have very little experience of BDSM club environments and a less than a firm grasp on the realities of sexual selection.
Put it this way. I have never walked into TG, or any other fetish club, and been inundated with sexual offers, nor has anyone else that I know. It’s not like the girls are sitting around waiting to take any guy who walks up to them. The atmosphere for pick-up is broadly the same in these places it is anywhere else. You still have to look good, you still have to have confidence, you still have to be able to approach and spark attraction.
You still have to be able to extract, to lead the girl somewhere more ‘private’, before there’s any chance of anything happening. You also still have to deal with the usual night game annoyances like cock-blocks, AMOGS, time wasters, plus high drink prices, loud music, crowds and all the rest of it. And if anything, because the girls are so scantily clad, their defences are even higher than normal since they are aware that they are being checked out and sized up by a bunch of thirsty men.
All that said, there is one huge advantage to pick-up in a BDSM club and it is this: many of the girls (and guys) are there in order to have an adventure, to do something out of the ordinary, something they wouldn’t normally do. For that reason alone, if you meet a girl who likes you then there is an above average chance that you will end up having sex in the venue itself, as opposed to at a normal club where your chances of that happening are lower.
The truth is people go to fetish parties in order to—well, do fetishy things. And that includes having anonymous sex with strangers they just met. So if you can be that stranger who pushes the right buttons, who triggers the right emotions, you are in a good position.
But it’s not as easy as just walking through the door.
In actual fact, as I have observed, the sexual marketplace differences are if anything more stark and delineated in a BDSM club than they are elsewhere. I think this is something to do with the animal nature of such places, where everyone is half-naked and ready to act on his or her instincts. Thus you get the alphas striding around—those tall, good-looking jocks who were probably on the rugby team, or the cricket team, who tower over everyone and dominate the scene. It is perhaps depressing for the game aficionado to see the ease with which these guys pick off all of the best women. It’s these guys, with their muscular bodies, deep tans and shit-eating white-toothed grins who are really the winners.
However, don’t despair. This isn’t to say that you can’t get a look-in too if you aren’t one of those types. You can. You’ll just need to work a little harder and smarter.
Of course, in the middle you get a lot of betas—average guys. And then at the very low end are omega males. These are the types of guys who not only don’t fit in, but who actively don’t want to fit in either.
Omegas
It is amazing how many of these guys I have seen around, not just in Torture Garden, but also outside of London in the various other fetish pleasure palaces I’ve visited across Europe. These men are almost universally out-of-shape, middle-aged, and frequently bald, or else with unkempt, greasy hair of the Michel Houellebecq variety.
These men are observers rather than participants. They are voyeurs in the classic sense, since they don’t try to get involved. They’ve given up that particular ghost a long time ago. Instead, they ingest a good deal of narcotics and sit around on couches, usually naked, masturbating dolefully for the entire night. I’m serious. You might find it hard to believe that this actually happens, but I’ve see it with my own eyes with alarming regularity, so much so that these omegas appear to me a specific subset worthy of special comment.
They appear regularly at Torture Garden, at Kit Kat Club, and Insomnia in Berlin, in Zagreb and in many other locations. Whether they all know one another—whether there are forums for ‘men who wank at fetish events’—I don’t know, but there is definitely a very real and distinct subculture out there. I sometimes wonder if this is the fate that will befall me. Whether I’ll end up one of these strange, middle-aged wanking men later part in life. I’m in my forties now. Perhaps it won’t be too long before I join their ranks.
I think what will save me from that fate, though, is the fact that I no longer use narcotics of any kind. What I suspect happens to these omega men is that they get locked into a cycle of self-hatred, fuelled by drugs, that leads them to almost enjoy debasing themselves. Because after all, they are openly signalling that they are unable to attract female attention and that their only remaining option is to enjoy the fun several steps removed. You never want to end up so bereft of hope and dignity that this sorry spectacle becomes your life. But the omega men are a stark reminder that the sexual marketplace is ruthless, indifferent and not interested in you one iota.
If you want to find success you must either be born with sufficient alpha characteristics already, or you must work on yourself until you win by sheer force of will. Fortunately, with all of the resources now available it is entirely possible for you to make the transformation you need to. There is no need, anymore, to be the sad, lonely, onanistic man on the couch bombed out of his mind on drugs, looking on as the whole world fucks around him.
To read the rest grab your copy of 50 SHADES OF GAME VO1 1 here
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