My new course Dating Conversation Success has just launched and in celebration I thought I’d break my long – too long – sojourn away from this blog to tell you what it’s all about.
First off though, let me tell you a little bit about my weekend. No, this isn’t a forum for me to share details of my leisure activities: this weekend I was working. James Tusk and I put on a training event in London where we coached six guys in social skills and how to approach and present themselves in an attractive manner to women.
It was a hell of a weekend – exhausting, yes, but a huge amount of fun given the high calibre of the students we taught. Every guy was cool to be around, but also serious about the task in hand and motivated in their quest for self-improvement. And despite the horrendous London weather we had a blast, proving the theory that – as countries start to open up again post-pandemic – we really are about to see a ‘summer of love’ across the globe as people get out there and start socialising again. Put simply, there was a clear appetite in the women that the students interacted with for fun and flirtation with men who are self-confident and well put together.
The Art of Conversation
Which leads me on to the nub of this article: if you want to ace it with socialising this summer (or anytime, really) you need to perfect the art of conversation. And no, I’m not talking about sitting around in a drawing room somewhere making Wildean quips. This is about the ability to be witty and charming and to think on your feet while socialising with women in dynamic and ever-shifting situations.
You will have heard that ‘looks, money and status’ are the primary measures of male attractiveness, and while charisma counts for a lot, it would be foolish to deny the truth in this. However, of the three, ‘status’ is without a doubt the most powerful. This is why you see unattractive old politicians with attractive young wives and mistresses: if you have status, or look as though you have it, then you WILL be more appealing to the opposite sex.
But how do you communicate status in a social setting? One way is to brag – to tell people how great you are, to wear a Harvard sweatshirt, to insouciantly throw your keys – replete with Ferrari keyring – onto the table in front of you. The problem with this approach, though, is that women see through it – they see that you are trying to impress them and they find it unappealing. Why? Because a truly high-status man doesn’t have to try to impress people. His very presence is enough.
If you can command a conversation, dominate an interaction, tell a story that makes people rapt, or simply keep her entertained with flirtatious banter, then you sub-communicate high value without any need to flash the trappings of success. Why? Because high-value men are adept communicators. They are listened to and respected by other people.
What Do You Say Next?
But in an average boy-meets-girl situation the acute difficulty is always the same – what do you say to ‘open’ the conversation? And what do you say next? When I was a lot younger I used to look at desirable women with a mixture of sadness and frustration, unable to speak to them, and conceiving of nothing to talk to them about other than ‘would you please go to bed with me?’ (which, by the way, is not a line you should use under any circumstances ever!)
Turning back to the training event of last weekend, with the exception of one guy, Ryan, who really had the ‘gift of the gab’ down to a T, several guys kept bumping up against this same old sticking point: what do I say, and what do I say next?
In the so-called London Daygame Model we advocate approaching with a compliment such as ‘Hey, I just saw you and you look really nice so I wanted to come over and say “hi”’. Well, that’s great to start off with. But if you simply say that and then stand there with your mouth open expecting her to pat you on the head as a reward then you will be disappointed. You have to follow up with another conversational thread. And if that falls flat you have to be able to think of something else, and so on, until one thread sticks and the interaction ‘hooks’.
That, in a nutshell, is what Dating Conversation Success is all about. I wanted to put together the definitive product that faces up to this most central dating challenge head on. I wanted to help guys by putting everything I know – as an introvert and formerly cripplingly shy man – into one place. I wanted to create something that would assist men with that most fundamental question of all: how do I stop running out of things to say to women?
Dating Conversation Success
A little bit about the course itself. It’s a video course (primarily) composed of seven different modules. It also includes a course ‘textbook’ in PDF form called Dating Conversation Success with an audiobook version narrated by Jack Napier, which I recommend you read while you’re consuming the videos.
As far as the modules are concerned, they are broken down into distinct elements:
- Warm Ups
- Short Conversations
- Full-length conversations
- Rejections
- 12 Conversation Secrets talk
- Daytime Approach presentation
- Dating Conversation Success book and audiobook
Modules 1-4 take you through the whole process of initiating and continuing an effective flirtatious conversation with a woman. We cover warm-ups because it’s essential to get into the right ‘state’ mentally, especially if you are generally somewhat ‘in your own head’ (I know I am at times).
Then we look at some short interactions, proving that flirtatious conversations needn’t take hours, and actually your goal can be accomplished in a very short time. Then we consider full-length conversations that lead to an exchange of contact details, before the fun part – rejections.
It was important for me to cover rejections in this package simply because they are core to the whole process and happen to everyone. I also wanted to show that a rejection is not something to be feared and indeed, in many cases you can walk away from an interaction that didn’t go as you’d hoped romantically with a positive feeling – at least you were authentic and expressed yourself unapologetically in the moment. Remember – socialising is meant to be win-win. Both you and the woman you speak to should walk away feeling good whatever the outcome. That is the ideal that we strive for.
Each of these modules includes an example conversation and then, directly afterwards, a comprehensive breakdown of what happened, what to look for, and the key points to take out and internalise. This is the best way of teaching this stuff – short of us actually meeting up and going out together – as you get a detailed view of each interaction and an assessment of what was good AND bad about it.
That is, you will learn both what to do and what NOT to do.
In the ‘12 Conversation Secrets’ talk I discuss the key elements of a successful man-to-woman interaction and talk about how you can internalise these in order to improve your own social outcomes. The Daytime Approach presentation looks at the history of men and women meeting during the day, some of the main protagonists in this area, plus pros / cons, pitfalls to avoid, and mindset tools to get you started.
By the way, while this section (and much of the course) is focussed on daytime interactions the truth of the matter is that these same principles apply pretty much any time. In other words, you could apply them successfully in a bar in the evening, a restaurant, in the lobby of a busy theatre, or even at a nightclub. Remember, male-female dynamics don’t change depending on whether the sun is out or not.
Finally, we have the book, Dating Conversation Success. This comprises 60 pages-worth of material expanding on the ‘12 Conversation Secrets’ talk. It’s an easy read but there’s a lot of detail so I’d recommend that you get started with it at the beginning of the course and read it while you watch the videos. And if you don’t feel like reading then fear not, we’ve also included an audio version narrated by Mr Jack Napier. These audio files are available to download, so please listen to them on the device of your choice while you’re driving, running, working out, doing the washing up or whatever. Seriously, the more you internalise this information, the greater the change in your outlook and subsequent social behaviour will be.
On top of all of this great content – over five hours’ worth of video – you also get some great bonuses: a copy of Renegade Dating Infield, which contains further conversational examples; plus my book Approach Her Like Chad which gives you all the mindset tools you need to walk up to a woman you’re attracted to and start a conversation with her.
Tiers
There are currently three course ‘tiers’ available: the Silver tier comprises the online course plus bonuses. You will of course have lifelong access to the material, and you will get any updates and additional material added for free – once you’re in you’re in. The current offer price is just $150, going up to $297 on May 29th.
The Gold tier gives you all of the above plus you are invited to attend Zoom webinars, and you will have access to a private Telegram chat. The cost for this is $250 going up to $497 on May 29th.
The Platinum tier gives you everything in the precious two tiers plus you also get 3 one-on-one coaching sessions with me over Zoom as well, where I will give you a bespoke assessment, talk about your current sticking points and provide a plan of action for you going forward. The cost for this is $500 going up to $997 on May 29th.
Given that all prices will be rising on May 29th, if you’re interested in improving this area of your life and really taking advantage of the upcoming ‘summer of love’ as lockdowns ease in many places all over the world, then it makes sense for you to join the course right now.
For more information, and to purchase if you decide to, click here now.
