Having been in this ‘space’ for a number of years now – that is, the dating coach / content creator space – I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty:
There is one immutable law: everyone thinks everyone else is a fraud, and they will say so publicly as often as they can.
Yes, you get loose alliances, friendships even.
But beyond that, every content creator or ‘guru’ in this area jealously guards his reputation, and looks fiercely and disparagingly on anyone else who might threaten to come along and take his crown.
Naturally, there is scepticism in pretty much every professional field. And few business owners are generous enough to call their competitors geniuses and risk sending potential customers off into their welcoming arms.
But the levels of distrust that exist among the ‘big names’ in this particular field are off the charts.
Which is understandable. After all, there is likely no area in human life – and, let’s face it, in male human life – so tied up with the ego than the ability to successfully scale the elysian heights of the sexual marketplace. To mount the summits of priapic pleasure, and gaze down victoriously on the manlets flailing helplessly in the thickets and hillocks below.
And the idea that another guy – totally different to oneself, perhaps even one’s polar opposite – is able to do the same, albeit by different means, is an affront to the first man’s sense of predominance and cosmic significance.
More melodramatically, as a result of a sublimated scarcity mentality, the notion that another fellow might also have a handle on this stuff constitutes a direct threat, because what if that oily oik who you so despise really does have some skills?
What does that mean for your much-vaunted position?
Could it be conceivable – the stuff of your worst nightmares – that he might even best you, were it to fall to open combat?
This is not to say that there aren’t a bunch of charlatans in this field. Of course there are. The nebulous, grey lagoon of the dating-selfhelp-motivation-bethebestmanyoucanbe-broscience world is populated with the biggest bunch of quacks, cooks, conmen, grifters and losers in christendom.
That much is gospel.
But the idea that you can trust no one – that everyone is a fraud just one faked screen-grab away from being outed, is also nonsensical.
And while I accept, to some degree, the argument that wet-behind-the-ears newbies are at risk of being taken in by the scammers since they’re too naive to know what’s what, I would also posit that everyone, even the most cowering ingenue, is a fucking sentient human being who ought, having reached adulthood, be able to dredge up a pretty decent gut feel for who is a charlatan and who isn’t.
How To Spot A Faker
If you are worried about whether this or that ‘expert’ is legit or not, I have two recommendations for you. First, take time to do a deep dive into their long-form content.
I’m not talking about tweets, Instagram posts or even Instagram stories here. What I AM talking about is articles, essays, podcasts, and videos. Places where the author has – by dint of time – given himself enough rope to off himself.
While it’s pretty easy to put out a Tweet telling everyone you’re the man, it’s somewhat harder to sustain the facade through years of in-depth content.
And at some point the mask – if there is one – will slip.
Also, guys who are telling the truth tend to admit to failures as well as success. Just saying.
The other analytical tool I advise you bring to the party is quite simply a heavy does of ‘does this guy seem like he knows what the fuck he’s talking about or not.’
Look, I don’t give a damn if you’re a 48 year-old virgin, or if you’re still being breastfed by your doting mother in middle age: if you’ve had reached adulthood able to see, read, listen and talk, and you’ve observed other human beings, even if only on television, then you should by now have developed at least a sense of folks are bullshitting you.
This isn’t rocket science. If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is.
And if someone’s promising you ‘secret knowledge’ that feels at odds with everything that you instinctually know about the way in which human beings operate then it’s likely a pile of crap.
Of course, I don’t want to see anyone scammed, and those who are should certainly do everything they can to get recompense, including ratting out the perps on social media. But really, if you fall for a snake-oil salesman then you only have yourself to blame.
Inner Fire
All that being said, the main way that most dating coaches mislead – even if they’re not overt ripoff merchants – is by suggesting that you will suddenly achieve stellar results in this area by learning ‘FIVE TOP SECRET TECHNIQUES’, and ‘JUST DO THIS ONE THING AND SHE WON’T BE ABLE TO RESIST YOU’.
I’m not saying anything new here – this much has been known for a long time. That said, there is still, in my estimation, too much reliance on externals – the tips, the tricks, the ‘do this and do that’ – and less on what really makes a difference out there in the field, namely, that INNER FIRE that you communicate to her through your very presence. For it is this which will ultimately ensure she remembers you, answers your messages on WhatsApp, Insta etc . . . and that she will come out on dates with you and so on.
It likely won’t have escaped your notice that my long-awaited masterclass DATING AND CHARISMA ACADEMY is finally out on April 30th – May 4th. Well, the whole purpose of that course, its raison d’etre if you like, is to pass on to other guys the fundamental personality change that occurred in my own life back when I was about 20, and which totally altered the course of my life, not just in terms of dating, but everything.
You see, what it comes down to is this – if you want to emulate the success of the ‘natural’ – the supercool dude who knows precisely what to say – and when to say it – at every social soiree, and who seems to spend all of his time batting off female admirers rather than meekly trying to solicit their attention , then you must actually become that guy – internally at least.
You can try and fake it, and that might even work – for a while.
But the thing that’s really going to make the difference is the aggregate of the mindset tools that you’ve sharpened, polished and stored in your armoury for when you meet her. In other words, what’s really important is not what you say, the order of the words, or the quality of the stories you tell or whatever. Yes, those things can make a difference . . . up to a point. But the real dealbreaker – or dealmaker – is the energy you bring to the interaction and the erotic undercurrent which this generates between the two of you.
Put simply, say you get chatting to a woman you find attractive in the queue at Starbucks (post lockdown of course lol). If you come across as boring schlub with nothing going on for him and with no oooomph (a technical term) then even if she gives you her number she’s unlikely to respond to your messages afterwards because, well, what’s really in it for her? You presented like a eunuch. Like a boring wet fish.
Understand, in this current dating environment people regard their intimate relationships as an extension of their entertainment packages. That is, they have their Netflix and Spotify sorted: their boyfriend / girlfriend is viewed as an equivalent utility. And if that individual is not bringing the party in terms of entertainment (drama, excitement, sex appeal, EMOTIONS!) then they will likely get kicked to the curb fast.
Thus, the manner in which you come across when you first meet is essential. You need to inject that moment with a judicious dollop of pizazz and spark plus sexual energy. Failure to do so will leave you an outcast in the furthest ‘unread’ reaches of her inbox.
It sounds simple enough, but the problem is that most guys these days are homogenised MSM-infused dullards who don’t COMMUNICATE anything when they walk up. Yes, they may stumble through the script and say the right words. But they are not masculine in the most useful sense of that word – that is to say, they do not communicate their essence and desire, their inner fire, and for that reason they fail.
I don’t blame them. I was exactly the same way. Until events in my life took an unexpected turn, and I learned – quite by accident – how to just fucking let loose and just be myself.
And once I did that, my life changed forever.
And I break it all down for you, piece by piece, in the course.
CHARISMA AND DATING ACADEMY is a 10hr+, professionally-filmed video course. It is a unique, transformative programme that takes apart your current personality and recreates you as an authentic and yet supremely effective high-value man of the kind that women love.
On top of the video content, you will also benefit from 10x live Zoom group webinars, a secret Telegram group, access to my infields product, plus bonus copies of my bestselling dating books.
The course is a deep dive into the mindset technologies that you will need to thrive while meeting women face-to-face in real life in 2020 and beyond. As well as that, it teaches you everything you need to know about how to operate ‘game’ (dating dynamics).
In other words, the course gives you the secrets that elite, high-value men are using all over the planet – and don’t want you to know!
CHARISMA & DATING ACADEMY gives you the ‘unfair advantage’ that the top 10% guys use – and that they guard ferociously!
Which is exactly why the course is only open for a very brief period of time.
There is NOTHING else available on the market that comes close in terms of both inner and outer social dynamics techniques.
Anyway, enough of the spiel. If you want to learn more watch this video, the first of three that I’ll be releasing in the coming days, in the run-up to the launch of the course on 30th April.
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