Approach Her Like Chad is out now!
Rejoice, for today is the day a brand new Troy Francis book is released – my first new title this year since Cucked came out in March.
Why the delay? Well I’m a lazy bastard. Ha, only kidding. Actually, I’ve had a lot of personal stuff going on behind the scenes and I’ve been doing a lot of planning and strategising for future content, all of which is terribly excited, so do keep your eyes and ears peeled for forthcoming announcements.
Anyway, with that said, I wanted this week’s essay to serve as an introduction to the new book. To give you an idea of what it’s all about, and to let you in on the reasons I wrote it.
My Last Dating Book?
First off, it’s worth saying that this will likely be my last ever ‘game’ book, or ‘how to’ book on the subject of how to meet and date women successfully. Don’t hold me to that, since, like Sinatra, I am apt to change my mind. But the simple fact is that having written ten books on this subject since 2014 I have said most of what I have to say about it, and I don’t believe in pursuing any subject matter beyond the point where I can usefully contribute.
Also, nothing is static – on the contrary, all of us are in a constant state of flux. My interests have shifted and moved on over the last five years, just as yours have. And the cultural climate is very different – those heady days before Brexit, Trump, de-platforming, SJWs and all the rest of it seem like a lost, innocent age now.
In addition, the cerebral calibre of the conversation in the men’s quarter of the internet has risen in the past couple of years. Whereas once upon a time it was sufficient to stick out an ebook teaching guys how to meet girls in nightclubs and bars, and supplying them with a few clever lines to make the process easier, these days that type of material seems crude.
And in any case, it’s largely unnecessary, since so much material covering these same topics is available online.
For all of these reasons, my enthusiasm for creating straightforward ‘game’ books (such as it ever was) has dissipated. This doesn’t mean that I will no longer write about intergender dynamics and the sexual marketplace, as well as how men can lead successful, purposeful and enjoyable lives. On the contrary, those topics remain of intense interest to me and they are almost inexhaustible.
But we can probably all agree that the stereotypical ‘pickup’ guides of the past have had their day.
In 2019 audiences are more sophisticated and they demand a higher quality of content. This is why people like BlackLabelLogic are killing it, with DeliciousTacos doing great business in fiction. These are the guys (amongst others) that I admire the most in this space (along with the ever-present Ernst Graf, of course) and I have watched their successes with admiration and not a little healthy envy.
This underpins some recent decisions I’ve made regarding my own content which I have announced previously, but which briefly include: scaling back on my video content, with one video and one podcast per week; cutting down ‘fluff’ articles on my website and focussing instead on one, long-form essay per week instead; writing for Medium about the craft of writing; and so on.
I can also reveal now that my next book project, which I’m already working on, is fiction – a satirical novel inspired by recent events the culture, and quite unlike anything I’ve ever published before.
All of this is, I would venture, indicative of a new seriousness which I am keen to bring to the table . . . except on Twitter, where shitposting about George Bruno has become a daily ritual for me. Well, Twitter is meant for shitposting. But no one should mistake my Twitter TL as representative of my larger body of work (if I can be pretentious enough to use that phrase).
Approach Her Like Chad
Anyway, that rather long preamble brings me right back to where we started – my latest book, APPROACH HER LIKE CHAD – HOW TO MEET BEAUTIFUL GIRLS WITH ROCK STAR FEARLESSNESS TODAY.
It is no secret that men find approaching women they are interested in sexually difficult. You don’t need to look very far on the pages of Reddit, or on Twitter, or in the comments section of your favourite blog, or in the latest ‘agony aunt’ column in a newspaper or magazine, to discover some luckless chap bemoaning the fact that he really likes this wonderful, special girl, and he is sure that they would have an amazing time together . . . if only he could somehow dredge up the confidence to speak to her.
Now, you would think that, after fifteen years and more of ‘how to meet girls’ material, guys would have moved on from needing guidance on this most elementary of steps in the mating dance. And indeed, talking to other dating coaches and content creators, there is a certain expectation out there that if we’re doing it, then surely they (the audience) should have picked it up by now too.
But that is a somewhat uncharitable view. Apart from anything else, new guys enter this space the whole time. Every single day a dude gets fed up with his lack of success with women and searches on Google ‘how to meet girls’. There he is met with a whole universe of content, some good, plenty bad. And invariably, the first thing he is going to want to learn is how to make that initial approach to a girl he likes.
Of course, there are also guys who’ve been around for longer. Some of these chaps may not have resonated with earlier material on meeting girls. Or they may have tried so-and-so’s technique and found it not to their taste. Or they may just have been lazy.
But it doesn’t matter – regardless of why they are still experiencing difficulties in this area, the fact remains that they are. And as helpful content creators, it is our duty to serve our audiences as best as we can.
Which leads me on to some surveys that I conducted way back at the beginning of 2019. I ran one survey over email, and several mini-polls on Twitter. A lot of interesting data came back on various topics. But loud and clear the thing that my readers wanted help with the most was the simple nuts-and-bolts of walking up to a girl, saying hello, flirting with her and asking for her number.
On reviewing this data, I knew immediately that I would have to write a book about approaching. Absolutely fine – I was game. But how the hell was I to go about it? As I’ve remarked, pretty much everything has already been said on the topic – or so it seemed.
How could I bring something new to the table that was uniquely mine, rather than a tired old retread of standard advice?
Mindset Shift
First of all, I realised that it was necessary for me to divorce the content from tactics as much as possible and to address mindset instead.
While mindset may seem woo-woo and lacking in practical application, when I thought deeply about my own journey from ‘young man afraid to say boo to a goose’ (although why anyone would want to do that is beyond me) to ‘confident and polished social player’ (sometimes!I realised very quickly that it was less about what I did and more about what I thought while I was doing it.
If that sounds opaque then forgive me. But the truth is that my transformation from loser to dating coach came about because a strange combination of events forced me to think differently about myself.
These events – which involved depression, moving to Manchester, and getting hooked on drink and drugs on that city’s burgeoning club scene – are not ones that I’d advise readers to replicate. But if I could extract their results as manifested in my own behaviour then perhaps I could pass on some useful distilled knowledge for others.
At the same time, I also found myself thinking about a favourite subject of mine – naturals, that is, those guys who are already incredibly good with women and who don’t have to worry about reading websites like mine, let alone buying my books like mine.
What is it that these guys do, what makes their personalities different to ours, and can us mere mortals can take something from them to help us?
In considering ‘naturals’ I inevitably found myself mulling over the term ‘Chad’ – a jokey name applied to 6” 4’ dudes with square jaws, designer stubble, cast-iron abs and cheekbones to die for who – in the mythology of the internet at least – ‘swoop’ all the best girls at the expense of everyone else.
Of course, ‘Chad’ is not a real person. And yet all of us know a Chad. It might be a guy we were at school with, the captain of our local football team, or someone at the office. You know the kind of guy I’m referring too – the drop-dead-gorgeous fella who all the girls love and all the guys want to be.
Soon the idea of structuring the book around the Chad meme came to me. How could we non-Chads become a little more like Chad? What lessons can we learn from him? And how might these assist us in approaching girls?
I was immediately aware that some guys would object to this. ‘But Chad is Chad,’ they’d say. ‘He’s a perfect male physical specimen; If you don’t have his looks then girls won’t be interested no matter what you do.
Well, I could see how this makes sense on a logical level, and I could see why guys buy into it. The only thing is, my life experience has totally disproved it. You see, I’d experienced being a chode – practically an incel (involuntary celibate) – and I’d seen how different everything could be when I radically rewired my brain to a new self-conceptualisation.
And woo-woo or not, one day I wasn’t getting laid, and the next I was.
Which is precisely why I’m somewhat sceptical of ‘incels’, since I was in that boat myself and I successfully escaped it. I sometimes wonder if these guys spent half as much time working on themselves as they do making videos about not having a perfect jawline they would have a much better time of it. I suspect they would.
Anyway, after some reflection I realised that all I’d really done – thanks to a combination of prescription drugs and other illicit substances mentioned earlier – was learn to be less of a nerd and more like Chad. And if I could teach other guys to do the same thing then I could really help them out.
From there, I set about working out how best to encapsulate the essence of Chad (sounds like a perfume) into something snappy and easy-to-grasp. The idea of breaking CHAD out into an acronym followed on logically from there, since it seemed to me a handy way of organising the material I had to share.
I filled out the acronym as follows: Crass, Humorous, Actorly and Delusional. Each of these ‘elements of Chad’ has its own chapter in the book, where I break down precisely what it means for you, and how you can best employ it.
Here is a brief overview:
1. Crass
There are lots of things that the ‘C’ in Chad could have stood for but I went with ‘crass’ for good reason.
You see, Chad doesn’t give a fuck. He doesn’t give a fuck about what you think of him. He doesn’t give a fuck about what that girl thinks of him. He doesn’t give a fuck if you regard him as intelligent or not. He doesn’t give a fuck if he gets rejected, or if he gets thrown out of the dinner party for being too drunk.
He doesn’t overthink anything – because he doesn’t give a fuck.
I’ve just dropped the ‘F-bomb’ five times in a row, and for good reason: it’s crass. Just like Chad. And if you want to achieve Chad-level game too then you must also learn to become crass – even if it’s against your better nature.
2. Humorous
This one has two sides. Not only is Chad himself humorous – that is, he makes everyone laugh – but he also finds everything and everyone humorous too.
These are both traits that you need to master if you’re going to achieve Chad-level game and become able to approach with the confidence of Chad.
3. Actorly
If you are not Chad, but you want to be able to approach like Chad and to get Chad-like results in dating, then you’re going to have to learn to play the part of Chad.
And yes, that means understanding some very important actorly principles.
This is not about being someone else – it’s still you, no matter what you do. No – this is about you taking control of your actions and executing in a way that serves you and your desires rather than in a way that doesn’t.
In this section I’m going to be teaching you perhaps the most useful acting tool I’ve ever learned, from the great method acting genius Konstantin Stanislavski. This is the single most useful tool I’ve ever used in my dating life, so be sure to stay tuned.
4. Delusional
Delusion is absolutely essential for playing the Chad role while approaching attractive women.
When you approach a girl in the way that Chad does there is no room for self-doubt – absolutely zero.
As such, it’s far better to be deluded about your value relative to hers than not.
This section of the book will reframe your attitude on self-delusion, making you see how powerful a tool it can be if used correctly.
In the book I build out these concepts in a clear, concise and powerful manner. As with all of my writing, my ambition is to give it to you straight. I always aim to provide the most no-BS, raw, hardcore advice around – the kind of advice that actually gets the job done rather than pussyfoots around. And this book, while brief, will be like rocket fuel for your game – if you apply the advice I give correctly.
Because make no mistake, learn to be more like Chad with the techniques I teach and there is no way on earth that your success in dating won’t rise exponentially. Chad, after all, is not in the habit of getting left behind in the sexual marketplace, and neither will you be once you’ve read this book.
So if you urgently need to get your dating and sex life sorted, and you’re sick off the ‘all-filler-no-killer’ info out there, then APPROACH HER LIKE CHAD is for you. And you know what’s even better? Right now it’s only 0.99 on Amazon!
However, I will be putting that price up after the weekend. Well, I need to eat, don’t I?! So take advantage of my misguided generosity in the meantime and grab your copy right now.
Read my essay on the death of the manosphere here
