As you might be aware if you are following my new YouTube channel, I have just recently stepped up my in-person, one-on-one coaching. And one of the first major insights that I’ve gleaned from it is the sheer importance of ‘meaning it’—or at least, appearing as if you mean it—when you go out to do daygame.
First of all, a little note about why I’m doing more coaching lately. It’s for several reasons. Firstly—and unsurprisingly—it’s a healthy revenue stream which I’d neglected (largely) for too long. And while my business (the books, the digital products, the affiliate stuff) continues to do well, let’s face it, we can all do with finding as many different ways to generate revenue as possible.
More importantly than that, though, it’s a real, tangible way for me to help guys get better at this dating stuff. And it’s struck me recently that now, in my mid-forties, I’m unlikely to be out in the field in any meaningful way for much longer myself. And so now, over the next year or so, really is the time for me to pass on what I’ve learned through coaching,
And, incidentally, now is the time if you want to be coached by me, since I won’t be doing in in perpetuity.
There are peripheral benefits to coaching too. It forces me to stay sharp, since of course I have to demo for students, as well as analyse what they’re doing. And it also gives me insights for content, including articles, books and products.
As much as I do my best to empathise with newbies, when you’ve been doing this stuff for 15 years or so, it can be difficult to recall exactly what it’s like to do your very first cold approach. And so when you’re out with a guy who’s doing just that, then you are in the very privileged position of being able to ‘travel back in time’, as it were, and see the experience through his eyes.
Which brings me back to the topic of today’s article, which is ‘meaning it’ when you are in set.
‘Meaning It’ in Daygame
Because if there’s one common theme attending many of the recent coaching sessions I’ve done, it’s guys saying the ‘right’ things, but it somehow not coming across as authentic, or as though what they’re saying is emanating from them at all.
This is one of the blessings and curses of the current situation we have where ‘game knowledge’ is spread all over the internet. Back in 2004 it was only to be found in the darker corners of forums or private message boards. These days, you can log onto YouTube or Twitter or Reddit and be regaled with a whole host of openers, ‘lines’, stories, ‘stacks’ and so on.
As I say, it’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because, well, it’s extremely helpful to learn what has worked for other guys. But it’s a curse because it means that guys can essentially copy each other without having to put any of their own personality into it.
If you are telling a story you heard your favourite dating coach tell verbatim, then realise that the story itself is not a magic spell—it’s just a collection of words (perhaps not even a very good one).
What brings it to life is your delivery. And like an actor performing in a play, or a singer singing their greatest hit from 20 years ago for the 1000th time, you have to breath life into it every. single. time.
It’s not enough simply to go through the motions and recite that made-up anecdote about two girls stealing your friend’s trousers in a bar in Budapest. You have to make it seem urgent. Like it’s the best story ever told.
You have to look like you mean it.
And that, my friends, is where the real skill of game comes in. Because while you can learn every single routine on the internet by rote, finding a way to inject them with your personality—and to communicate male-female polarity at the same time—is the real test of the player.
And you will only ace it after a lot of real-life practice out in the field.
PLUS developing yourself as a man at the same time through reading, travel, and disciplined work—gaining experience of life, in other words.
Of course, a bit of coaching with an expert in the dating field will never go amiss either 😉
To book daygame coaching with Troy this April email troy@realtroyfrancis.com
To own all 9 of Troy’s dating / game books for just $35 (full value $250) go here
To learn more about modern dating go here.
