What To Do If People Think Your Batchelor Lifestyle Is ‘Weird’

In amongst all the excitement around #ThotAudit, I have received growing support online for saying something that is bloody obvious, but apparently needs restating in this age of rightist puritan virtue-signalling: that most guys don’t actually want monogamy, they want to have sex with a succession of different girls. 

While I’m grateful to everyone who has supported what I’ve said (which is really only common sense anyway), some have slightly misunderstood my message. Or it’s got lost in translation.

In political debate there is a phenomenon called ‘whataboutary’. This is when, faced with a fact or opinion that is damaging to someone’s position they resort to saying ‘Ah, but what about XXX?’

This is a grownup version of shifting the blame onto your opponent’s side in an attempt to deflect attention from whatever shortcomings your own has.

When it comes to my discussion of hypergamy in the context of male sexual motivation, some readers have mistaken my approach for whataboutary. They believe I am saying this:

‘Yes, hypergamy is bad. But what about men who cheat? What about men who bang their secretary after ten years of marriage? Isn’t that as bad, or worse?’

When you misrepresent my position in those terms, it is not surprising that some less careful readers on Twitter have accused me of ‘purple pill’ thinking, or even of ‘white knighting’ (that is, coming to the defence of women in an obsequious attempt to gain favour with them).

But that is not what I’m saying.My contention is subtly different: given that it’s men’s innate desire to have sex with multiple attractive women, they should stop worrying about hypergamy and monogamy and all of that, and instead simply pursue the life of sexual abundance that they actually want by remaining single, not getting into traditional monogamous relationships, learning game and so on.

My intention is not to ‘exonerate’ women from ‘blame’ for their own sexual strategies (although ‘blame’ is the wrong word, of course. Human nature is amoral: no moral judgement can be made about any of this).

Rather, my point is that hypergamy is secondary to the real issue, which is that most men, if they were honest with themselves, would admit that they don’t really want monogamy at all. They want to fuck around.

Having got that clear we encounter another issue, also raised by a few readers: ‘I understand what you are saying, Troy. But what will people think if I live that bachelor / playboy lifestyle? What if they think it’s weird?’ 

Of course, the short answer is ‘fuck them’. However, since I’ve committed to providing an in-depth article of around 1000 words from Monday to Friday on this website, and we’re only at the 450-word mark, I will put a little more meat on the bone.

What To Do If People Think Your Batchelor Lifestyle Is ‘Weird’

When you say something like ‘but what will X think?’ it is a sign that you are not taking your life seriously enough.

It is a red flag about yourself that you must heed.

We are all far too complacent, far too laid-back about life. The truth of the matter, of course, is that life is finite. And who knows how much any of us have left.

So it’s not merely a case of ‘you should do what makes you happy’. It’s ‘you absolutely 100% MUST do whatever it is you want to do with your life because this is the one and only chance you will have to enjoy it on this planet and if you are living up to what you think other people want from you then you are a fucking idiot’.

What you need to do—what we all need to do—is inject urgency into our thought processes.

We’re not messing around. This is not—as has been pointed out colloquially many times before—a dress rehearsal. This is the real deal.

As I Tweeted yesterday, one of the most damaging things about the new rightist Christian puritanism we have seen sweep men’s blogs and forums over the past few years is that it pushes impressionable young men in a direction that, for the most part, they don’t really want to go in.

Which is a disaster.

My main concern is that man (and young men in particular) are not honest with themselves about what they really want.

Because we’ve agreed, the simple fact is that most men want to fuck as many attractive young women as they can.

Culturally, this is becoming less acceptable to say (in the West, at least), and the pressure is not just from naive and misguided ‘trad’ men’s bloggers. It is also from the left, from those feminists who would claim that natural masculine desire is ‘toxic’.

Back in the real world, the fact remains that as long as you are acting within the bounds of the law, and you are not hurting anyone (more on that in another article, soon) then there is absolutely nothing wrong with men (and women) being as promiscuous as they like,

It is only social censure that is holding many people back from what their nature would actually have them do—fuck a lot more people. Social censure, plus a second-hand notion of what is ‘acceptable’ behaviour, transmitted via early programming and herd behaviour observed in others.

What men (and, again, women) must do is take time out, shut offf the propaganda as much as possible and think—really think—about what it is they want.

And the truth is that very few young men would emerge from that period of concentrated reflection saying ‘what I really want is to lock myself down so that I can only have sex with one woman for the next fifty years.’

Because plainly that is the exact opposite of what most men want.

The Steps You Need To Take

The first step is discovering and acknowledging the truth—your truth.

The second step is believing that you deserve to live the life you actually want, rather than one prescribed for you by others who may not have your best interests at heart.

The third step is to resolve to live the life you want regardless of what anyone else might think—because you recognise how vitally important it is that you do so.

The fourth step is to acquire the tools to make it happen.

You can—and you will.

To learn more about how to do just that, join my free 4-part online course The Renegade Playbook here. 

To read more about the realities of human sexuality go here.