The Politics of Swingers Parties

swingers parties

Here’s another extract from my upcoming series of books on the naughtier side of game, where I explore the BDSM scene, swingers parties and strip bars.

In this section I consider the politics inherent in the swinging scene, and where I fit into it as a player.




The swinging scene is nothing if not fraught with politics. In theory it’s a big free-for-all where anyone can fuck anyone else (subject to consent, it should go without saying). In practice, though, it’s as deeply regulated as any other social situation you might care to mention.

The first thing I should make clear here is the way that I personally approach the scene, which is as a player. For other people this may be different, and good luck to them. But for me personally, I like to game swingers clubs in pretty much the same way as I would in other environments, except with quicker escalation and less messing around.

My aim is only ever to have sex with girls—either one-on-one or two-on-one or whatever. I am not into getting involved with a guy’s wife or girlfriend while he is there, or worse, while he is participating.

For some this might make me a bad swinger, just as my attitude to the BDSM scene (as described in Volume 1 of this series) might make me a ‘bad fetishist’. Well, so be it. If that’s the case I’m happy to live with it. As always my perspective is that of the player. My interest is in meeting attractive young women with whom I can have adventures, regardless of the environment. And my participation in the swingers scene is merely an extension of that.

I personally have no interest in watching a girl I’ve been intimate with having sex with another man. It does nothing whatsoever for me. Even if it were a girl for whom I had no feelings at all I just can’t see that particular sight turning me on.

What I do like is to have sex with my girl in public—or at least in semi-public anyway. That is something of a turn-on. And I also like to have sex with several girls at once, of course.

So when I go to Killing Kittens or a similar party with a girl I make certain that we’re on the same page first. Either we are simply friends and both of us can do whatever the hell we like. Or we’re there as a couple and we’ll just have sex with each other and won’t involve anyone else at all (this works really well in adding a frisson in the early stages of a fuck-buddy relationship when you’re experimenting and trying all kinds of crazy things).

A third possibility is we are there as a couple, but we are open to the idea of introducing other girls into the equation and that being the case, my girl will help me on the hunt for them. This of course works particularly well with bisexual girls, or even so-called ‘bi-curious’ girls who are up for a little bit of fun if the opportunity arises.

As I said I have little interest in watching my girl fuck someone else—-even if we are only fuck buddies. For me that’s not part of the deal. That may sound selfish, and perhaps it is, but I’m not forcing anyone to be with me. If I meet a girl who wants to fuck around then that’s fine but she can do so while with someone else rather than with me.

Another thing to note is that many parties will let a controlled number of single guys in on any given night. True, you will pay over the odds. If a ticket for a single girl is £30 a single man at the same event will likely be asked to fork out £70. Such are the realities of a sexual marketplace based entirely on supply and demand.

Nevertheless, when you think about what you are opening yourself up to and when you get good at swingers’ party game you might feel that it’s worth the extra expenditure. After all, it’s not every party that you go to where women are ready and willing to have sex right there in the venue. It’s a very sexy scene that really has to be experienced to be believed.

Just make sure that if you go with a girl you are both clear on what your agreed boundaries. You don’t want anyone feeling upset or disappointed as the evening progresses.

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