Thinking about girls as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ will do you no good. It is naive, and it won’t help your game. It’s missing the point. The truth is that all people, men and women, are complex. None of us is purely good or purely bad.
I think about myself. I hope that I am a good person. Certainly, beneath the ‘dark tetrad’ bluster, I try to help others out when I can. If a friend is in trouble I will go out of my way to help out.
That doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I get angry with people who walk slowly through the London underground. Those who stand on the left instead of the right, blocking me from walking down the escalator. Sometimes I can get frustrated and be very rude to people who are just trying to do their job, like call centre staff.
I have also been unfaithful to girls. I have broken off relationships prematurely and hurt them. I have been selfish and caused pain.
Does this make me a bad person? Perhaps. But most people who meet me think me a nice guy. Are they wrong?
The truth is that like everyone else on the planet I am capable of a whole range of behaviours depending on the circumstances, who I’m with, and what the provocation is. And that is the same for the girls you meet.
There is also a perception, which I never really understood, that you only meet ‘bad’ girls in night clubs. The good girls congregate elsewhere, literally.
Clearly this is nonsense. I have dated PhD students—‘high quality women’—who partied in clubs and got drunk on tequila. And the Serbian girl I’ve been seeing recently goes to church every Sunday. It doesn’t stop her from drinking whiskey and fucking like a demon (and during lent as well).
You have to understand that the world and those who inhabit it are not two-dimensional. You have to understand that human-beings are a mass of impulses that are often contradictory. You have to understand that the perfect, innocent, angelic girl you are looking for does not exist.
It doesn’t matter if you meet her in the library or in Dirty Martini’s after six vodkas. She still has the same impulses. She’s still a human being. She is capable of anything any other human being can do.
The problem is not specific to this or that girl, it is structural. Long-term monogamy does not work. It never has worked. It only seemed to work in the past because people were forced into it by religion and law. And out of any couple usually one was brutalised and miserable.
So if you are looking for a good girl in order to have a happy relationship then you are looking at the small picture. Pull out and look at the big picture. Monogamous relationships are flawed.
Worried she might cheat? You should be. Why? Because people get bored in monogamous relationships and they want sex with other people.
It’s not rocket science.
The good girl / bad girl, Madonna / whore thing is a misogynistic distraction, a sideshow that prevents men from seeing reality. And when you don’t see reality then it’s hard to make a sensible decision on how to live your life.
Player to the end, ride or die; or marriage, lovely kids and a suburban home? It’s up to you. But don’t pretend one or the other is without risk. This is life, baby—everything is risky.
To pretend otherwise is to bury your head in crushed up blue pill sand.
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