Occasionally you meet a cute girl and, when you suggest a coffee or a drink, she asks you to hang out with her and her friends.
While this may be tempting, it is a trap and one you must avoid.
On the surface, you might wonder what possible harm can be done by meeting up informally with her clique. After all, if she’s hot and there is the chance of getting in facetime with her under any circumstances then why not grab it?
Unfortunately, in my experience, such group gatherings don’t work well at all if this is your first date.
Here’s a rule of thumb you must follow: if it is the first time you have arranged to meet up with her then it must be just the two of you.
Why? Well, girls are very sensitive to their friends’ opinions. This is why so-called cockblocking is such a big problem in night game.
It’s the same for guys too, of course. We all want our friends to think well of us and of the people we attract. But for some reason the desire for conformity appears even stronger in women.
For this reason alone it makes absolutely zero sense to have other people there when you go on a date. Even with the best will in the world, those other people will judge you. And even if they are lovely, they will feel duty-bound to communicate their thoughts to your girl later. If you drop the ball in their eyes, even marginally, this will get reported back to her.
The other thing is that a date may well be your one opportunity to escalate to intimacy with your girl. When there are other people there then not only will you feel inhibited by politeness, but so will she.
The whole point of a date when you think about it is that is allows you some time in (relative) isolation with your girl. If you allow other people to get involved then by definition you’ve already blown it.
A hallmark of seduction is that it is sexy, intimate and, crucially, built on tension. When other people are there then that tension that you would ideally seek is already diluted. And worse, this could well end with you getting shoved summarily into the friendzone, since going out with her mates automatically puts you into the basket of . . . well, one of her mates.
The same thing goes for attending parties with girls before you’ve hooked up. I remember one time meeting a cute redhead through daygame. I got her number and then she invited me to a house party she was throwing for her friends. Excited to see where this might leave I went along to her north London address with my then-wingman in tow.
While the interactions between me and this girl had been flirty up until that point, I was shocked that at the party she pretty much avoided me. In fact, I got the vibe that she was embarrassed that I had even turned up. Perhaps it was a case of ‘buyer’s remorse’. Or more likely, perhaps she was not keen to hook up at a gathering of her friends, and only realised the awkwardness of the situation after the fact.
Whatever the reasons were, I left the party early and never saw her again.
So remember, if a girl presents you with the opportunity of ‘hanging out’ with her and the girls then don’t take it. Instead, you should tell her that you’d prefer to meet her alone so you can get to know her better without other people to interrupt, and then you should suggest an alternative time and venue.
Once you’ve slept together a couple of times then by all means meet her friends if you wish. But before that it should be a strict red line that you guys only meet alone.
For exclusive additional free content every week join my subscribers list here.
For daily updates follow me on Twitter