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This Is Why I Give Terrible Relationship Advice

relationship advice

He was talking about his future wife.

He was saying how they had gone through tough times. Maybe she’d been unreasonable. But what he’d come to understand, over two years, was just how much of a controlling asshole he could be too.

There’d been moments when he could have thrown in the towel. But he’d stuck it out through thick and thin and now the rewards were paying off. He was engaged, and soon he would be married.

He said the relationship with this girl was better than ever before. That he gained so much from being with her. That he had learned so much about himself by working through this stuff.

I guess by being with her and doing this work he had gained some sort of understanding, acceptance.

I Don’t Like Working At Relationships

I don’t like working at relationships. Not since my first ‘proper’ girlfriend fucked a bunch of other guys behind my back many years ago.

That wasn’t the moment when I ‘took the red pill’ as they say. But it was certainly the moment when I stopped caring so much. And when I started to see that ‘working’ at a game that’s already rigged against you is a waste of time.

But look, don’t take my word for it. What the hell do I know? I’m just some guy on the internet who writes about hitting on girls for a living.

I’m the guy who sits at the back of the room listening to this man talk about his soon-to-be-wife feeling superior because I’ve read The Rational Male and The Selfish Gene and grasped the evolutionary truth about female sexual strategies, and intergender dynamics.

But behind that my convenient shield of cynicism I also feel jealous, sad.

As I say, these days I don’t work at relationships because I’ve read a load of stuff on the internet and I’ve seen a load of stuff from doing pickup for years, and it’s hardened my heart up to the point where I don’t really have one any more.

My Ex

I dated my last girlfriend for a year. She lived with me in my apartment for the latter six months.

After six months I’d had enough and threw her out. She had to take all of her belongings and pay to put them into storage. Then she had to move back in with her mother and her seventy-five year old father in the ass-end of nowhere.

She was distraught. She texted and called me tens, hundreds of times every day for three months. But I was adamant we wouldn’t get back together again: adamant, that is, until I weakened and fucked her again one time. After that there was some talk of us getting back together, of working at it. But I couldn’t face it so I told her no.

That was in October 2016. Could we have ‘worked at it’? Yeah, probably. Should we have done? Harder to say. On the surface this girl was a catch: 15 years younger than me, sexy, cooked, did the shopping, great in bed. All of that stuff.

I remember when I told her no, that I really meant no this time, she looked at me incredulously and said, ‘You’re so self-destructive.’

Maybe she was right. But I don’t believe that you can successfully ‘work’ at a relationship because when it comes down to it I don’t really believe in love.

I believe in positions, though. She had a position and so did I. Sure, she said she loved me and I said I loved her. But actually she wanted one thing—marriage and kids (ultimately) and I wanted another—to fuck her—along with various other girls on the side—while not getting married and not getting her (or anyone else) pregnant.

How the hell do you ‘work’ at that? Ultimately someone just has to give in, to wave the white flag and surrender.

As Rollo Tomassi of the Rational Male says, for one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other’s has to fail.

It’s a zero sum game.

So I didn’t work at that relationship. Instead I threw that girl  out.

The last time I saw her was in January 2017 when she walked up to me and screamed at me in the street. We haven’t spoken since. I saw her on Tinder again a while back so I’m sure she’s having plenty of fun again and has forgotten about me entirely.

Just like it never happened.

The Troy Francis Guide To Relationships

So that’s how I ‘work at it’. And don’t worry, I won’t be releasing The Troy Francis Guide To Relationships any time soon.

Do I regret it? Yes—in a way. It’s been hard to forget about my ex. I still miss her. I still think about her every day. She met my family. She got on well with my father. That meant something to me. And every morning when we were waking up in bed she would kiss me and tell me she loved me.

Now it’s just like it never happened.But it did happen, you know. It was real. I remember those tender moments.

But when things got tough I took a hardline ‘red pill’ stance and dropped a North Korean-strength nuclear bomb on the whole thing because . . . well, because that’s what I do.

Was I right to? I don’t know. I’m just some guy on the internet who writes about hitting on girls.

Sometimes it makes me feel better that I’m clever and I have this website and I’ve read a load of stuff about how girls are bad and I write pithy Tweets and blogs about it all. But then I sit at the back of the room and listen to a guy talking about how happy he is with his soon-to-be wife because he stuck at it and I feel jealous, sad.

And then I walk home alone to my rented room in Shoreditch and type up an essay about it because . . . well, because that’s what I do.

I guess.

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About the author


PJ Pires - October 6, 2017

That’s the point:

” And when I started to see that ‘working’ at a game that’s already rigged against you is a waste of time. ”

And crazy enough, guys in relationship don’t or can’t see it.

So… let ’em fuc** themselves.

Yevgen - October 6, 2017

Hmmmmm .
Man i went through your whole blog and i follow your tweets .
You are an intelligent , fit , and good looking man .
Don’t mean to offend you , but since your blog is public , you have opened yourself up for comments or advice .
Are you addicted to Daygame ? You are already a Veteran , you don’t have to prove yourself anything .
RedPill , Rationale Male , The selfish gene … It’s their opinion and some of it is backed by truth and evidence . Why you gotta take their advice so hardcore .
You are British , White …. Hardworking smart and creative man .
Pass your genes and wisdom on , Man . It’s RedPill to face the challenges that doing so brings . I married at 45 . And when i held my son in my hand , i felt i was Connecting with my Ancestors and my Future Generation .
I have never felt more alive . I have energy now . I feel like a superman .
Sure my wife does all that females do ,and maybe when i am 50 she will cheat on me . But i will deal with it …….
Think about it ……..
Cheers .

    tfadmin - October 11, 2017

    Hey man, being white is not the issue. But you describe beautifully how it felt to hold your son. I feel that man, I really do. It’s a path I’ve avoided because I haven’t been in a position to do it. But thanks for sharing what it’s like for you. Don’t project negatively for the future, not everyone cheats, it’s just better to be forewarned of possible issues down the line. Cheers, Troy.

Shawn - October 9, 2017

I agree with yevgen on having a child does change you in a way that I can’t even describe. And I get to raise them smarter then my parents raised me. Now for some red pill. I was 25 when I had my first daughter. My wife stayed home to raise her then 2 years later we had another daughter. I thought I had the perfect family. My daughters were beautiful (you should see them) had a sexy wife. When my youngest was old enough to go to preschool my wife went back to work. Had an affair with her boss (they were fucking at his office). Didn’t find that one out until a few years later when I caught her red handed with one of my good friends (both wasted at a party that I was DJing at). Then our mutual friend tells me about the affair with her boss. I was floored. My world was flipped and I was sick that we had this awesome family with 2 prefect daughters and it all crumbles right in front of me. I felt so out of control. So yevgen I hope she never cheats on you but if she does I hope your prepared for the worst.

    tfadmin - October 11, 2017

    Hey Shawn, really sorry to hear your story, that’s terrible. At least you got your two beautiful daughters though man. Horrible you got treated like that, but I hope you’ve come out the other side stronger man. Cheers, Troy.

    Tim - October 11, 2017

    Hey Shawn ( i hope you are not Troy’s alter ego)!
    That’s very sad. Am glad that you shared it with us . Red Pill .
    Did she tell you why she was cheating on you ? Did you confront her ?
    What was her reply .
    Man these girls these days because of social media and parties 🙁
    Das ist nicht Gut ….
    Are you guys still together ?

      Shawn - October 17, 2017

      Oh yeah I confronted her. Her excuse was I wasn’t giving her the attention she needed at the time. She is pretty hot in my book 5′ 7″ 110lbs Italian so she naturally had a tan and had that wavy long dark brown hair. So I’m sure her boss was showing her attention when I was not around. He had her as his only employee. He was a bone doctor with a small office in more of a run down part of the city. And as far as my good friend. Our circle of friends got together every fri and sat to hang out. We were all kind of flirty with everyone so I thought nothing of it really. I could kind of forgive that one because a lot of alcohol was involved. But it was that night that brought everything to light. Im not with her anymore. I did try to work it out for the kids. I didn’t want 2 daughters with daddy issues. I just couldn’t get over it. We fought more and more and I felt I was doing more damage staying then if we parted. I was right. I still have an amazing relationship with my daughters and even good friends with my ex. When it all went down I saw only darkness but now as crazy as this might sound I almost want to thank her for it Lol. I never found out who I really am until I started my own life

RedPill - October 11, 2017

Uncle Troy !
This article and the comments make me feel depressed .
On one hand you advise not to get married .
On the other hand teh comments tell a different story .
A story of cheating and heart break ….

    tfadmin - October 11, 2017

    Hey man, thanks for the comment! No need to be depressed. I’m just sharing things that have happened to me so that you can hopefully make informed decisions in your own life based on what I’m saying. But look, not everyone cheats. Not every relationship ends in heartbreak. It’s just better to be aware of the risks and the pitfalls. That way, you open up your options and then the world really is you oyster!
    Cheers, Troy.

TheGhostofSteveMcQueen - October 12, 2017

Thanks for sharing Troy. Look, I’m married and have a kid whom I love more than anything, but if I knew before marriage what I know now I would go the Blackdragon route and not get married. I would have an OLTR and maybe a kid, but marriage NO. Marriage is betafying as fuck and unless you’re doing it Alpha 2.0 style with a rock solid prenup it is not worth it. And I say that without any consideration of being cheated on.

Maybe you could’ve had an OLTR with your ex, but then again if you’re adamant about never having kids you’re right – that can only be reconciled by someone caving in to the other person.

    tfadmin - October 12, 2017

    I did consider the OLTR route with my ex, but unfortunately we’d gone too far by that point and once you’ve got into monogamy territory it’s hard to pull back. I don’t think she’d have bought it. Still, onwards. I do think marriage is betafying as fuck and I don’t see an easy answer. However alpha you are you’re going to drop your guard at some point and then you’re screwed. And not in a good way! Troy

Yahya - October 14, 2017

Hey Troy !
I looked into why women cheat and what to do to prevent that .
Am 29 originally from Pakistan , grew up in Europe and America .
When i was 22 i decided to go on a quest to find the one .
In doing so i learned Spanish , Portuguese , Russian and German .
I met many girls in their country , what i noticed was , no matter which country i go to , the girls behave same kinda way . It’s like the Humanity is in a state of trance . I figured out it was because of the media .

Finally i found a girl , after eating dirt in 55 countries . 19 Orthodox Christian from Serbia .
My Serb friends told me to remove her from her environment . I married her . Nope did’nt convert her . We now have 3 kids . She’s very loyal and her life is all about raising our children well . When she goes back to Serbia with our kids on their vacation , yes i do feel afraid that she might cheat on me .
So i try to accompany them . But it’s not easy Troy . It’s a double edged sword . I am working harder on our relationship then on my job . It’s a fucking test . I stay in top athletic form , i take her with me to jujitsu classes and horse riding classes …
So maybe removing them from their environment is the answer .
But who knows ..

    tfadmin - October 15, 2017

    Hey man, thanks for the comment. I have a question – why did your friends advise you to remove her from her environment? As a lot of manosphere advice runs against that. If you take a girl into a Western environment (so the argument goes) then she’ll likely take on Westernised attitudes etc and become like a US girl or whatever in time…

    Cheers, Troy

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