There’s no point in giving your phone number out to girls. It’s highly unlikely they will text or call you you. I’m not saying it never happens—it does, of course—but in general the overwhelming societal expectation remains that you will be the first to contact her. So you are wasting your time if you deviate from that.
Giving your number to a girl is effectively putting all of your power into her hands. You might think that in doing so you are indicating your interest, which should score you some brownie points. Well you’re indicating interest alright. But you’re also showing that you don’t have the balls to follow through, take control of the situation and go for what you want.
Despite their sometimes bitchy exteriors girls can be shy, remember. But more importantly, they want to feel feminine. And in the context of intergender dynamics, femininity is accentuated when the woman is passive and the man dominates the interaction.
The last thing a girl wants is for a wishy-washy man who wants to bang her (like most other guys she knows) but somehow expects to leave the business of facilitating his sexual pleasure in her hands.
Fine, you might say. I get that. But what about those occasions when I approach a girl, we talk, and then when I ask for her number she says ‘why don’t you give me yours?’ What then?
In those situations it is 99.9% certain that the girl is brushing you off, letting you down gently. The possibility that she will subsequently dial your number or send you a message is so remote that you’d be better off betting on Nigel Farage opening up his home to a family of EU migrants on benefits.
When this happens to me I simply tell the girl that I don’t give out my number and that I should take hers since I’m the guy and she’s the girl. As much as on a meta level society is very feminist, in a one-on-one situation nearly all girls respond to very well. In most cases she will end up giving me her number. If she doesn’t, then I simply walk away.
In a normal interaction I will always finish up by asking the girl for her number, even if things haven’t seemed that promising or it hasn’t appeared to go very well. As I’ve noted before, it really is almost impossible to determine before the fact which numbers are going to bear fruit and which are not, so there’s little point in second guessing.
Instead, take control. After the conversation has reached ‘hook point’—that is, when she has indicated some interest in you by asking you a question then shortly afterward you should wrap things up and ‘number close.’ Doing this is very simple. Pass her your phone, open to the contacts page, and say:
‘It’s been really nice meeting you but I must go and meet my friends now. We should definitely meet for drinks another time though. Put your number in here and I’ll message you.’
And that’s it. Wait to see what she does. Many times she will type in her number and all will be well. Other times she might prevaricate or make some excuse. When this happens, get her chatting about something else for a couple of minutes and then try again.
Whatever you do, though, don’t fall for the ‘why don’t you give me your number?’ line that girls will often put out there. After all, if she was really interested then why would she have any problem with you having her digits?
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