Whether you’re doing day game or night game, the temptation to give in to whatever random excuse your mind throws up to prevent you from approaching is strong. And if you’re anything like me, the sheer variety of reasons you find for not doing the one thing you must—if you want an abundant sex life—is incredible.
Below I list some of the key excuses that guys (myself included) come up with on the regular for not putting their balls on the line, walking up to that girl and telling her she looks cute.
1. I Might Get Rejected
This is the big daddy of all excuses. It’s the one that we all feel, and it’s also the one that never really goes away.
Is it valid? Well look, if you’re saying this to yourself then yes, you are absolutely right: you might get rejected. Actually, it’s certain that at least some of the time you will.
Is it a good reason not to approach though? Hell, no—of course it isn’t! As I’ve said many times before on this site and elsewhere, rejection is something that permeates all areas of life. Whether you’re in sales, pitching an artistic project or idea, trying to persuade your boss to let you work a four-day week, or about to ask an attractive girl on a date there is a chance you will get told ‘no.’
When I was younger I used to be terrified of hearing that word ‘no’. I believed it meant that I was worthless, that one individual’s opinion of me overrode everything else and that they were definitely correct.
These days I don’t choose to give other people such huge power over me. I realise that if I want anything I have to be prepared to go through a process to get it—and rejection is just a small part of that process.
2. She’s out of my league
This one is a classic. I would be willing to wager that all men have felt like this at one time or another.
You see a girl. She’s hot: really hot. You want to ask her out but you genuinely feel she might reject you because her sexual market value is higher than yours.
This is natural and normal. But what you must realise is that the very concept of ‘leagues’ is flawed. As such it is a buffer that keeps you in your comfort zone and prevents you from taking risks.
The truth is that there is no rhyme or reason to the sexual marketplace, or at least, it’s impossible to make an accurate assessment of your prospects with a girl since you are working off incomplete data: if you haven’t met her before you have no idea what her preference in men is.
I’ve been brutally rejected by 6s only to have 9s fall into my lap—seriously.
Just because a girl is very hot we assume that she can get the best of the best. And we’re right. The only problem is that we have no idea what ‘best’ means for her.
Never fail to approach a girl just because she is very beautiful. On the contrary, that should be the main incentive for you to do so.
3. She probably already has a boyfriend
This is related to the above. Because she is attractive, we reason, someone must have snapped her up by now and taken her off the market.
Well, maybe they have. But again, if you’re thinking this then you are working off incomplete data. Plus just because a girl is attractive enough to elicit attention doesn’t mean she is definitely attached.
The truth is that couples split up all the time for a wide variety of reasons. Hot girls split leave guys regularly. It happens and it’s normal.
And even if she does have a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean she’s happy. Maybe he’s cheating on her. Perhaps she’s bored. Maybe they’ve been together for ages and the spark has died. Possibly they’ve only got together recently and she’s not sure about him.
Whatever her situation, if an attractive and confident man stops her it will at least cause her to consider her options, however briefly. That’s an opportunity—and game is nothing if it’s not about creating opportunities for yourself and your sex life.
4. I’ll approach her later / when I see her next
I’ve used this excuse in both day and night situations and believe me when I tell you that if you don’t approach her immediately you will either never see her again, or if you do she’ll be with another guy.
Opportunities for good things are scarce. Competition is fierce. It is the same in dating as it is in any other field. When you see her don’t waste any time—go for it.
5. I’m Too Old / young / fat / thin / the wrong ethnicity etc.
We all have a favourite disqualifier—something inherent in us that we can’t change but that we kid ourselves means we don’t have a chance with the girls we like.
I’m too old, I’m too serious, I’m too shy, I’m too short. I don’t have enough money, I’m this, I’m that….
There is no shortage of excuses. But again, these are merely buffers. What we have to realise is that our minds are so keen to get us out of the frightening task of approaching that we actually welcome reasons not to. In other words, giving in to an excuse like ‘I’m too fat’ is actually a (very) small dopamine hit.
I don’t know about you, but I would much rather get my kicks from something that I actually want—a hot girl—rather than the fleeting pleasure to be derived from finding a good enough excuse not to speak to her.
With all of the above excuses just remember that the only way you can hope to be successful is by pushing through. With that in mind, try to have ‘smart feet’ and walk up to her anyway.
It’s absolutely fine to feel the fear. Just so long as you disregard it and do what you really want to do anyway.
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