I was chatting to a friend of mine yesterday, a pickup coach, and we were saying that becoming known for giving game advice—by creating content, making videos, writing articles or whatever—puts you into this odd category where the people don’t expect you to be subject to the normal jealousies, fears and frustrations that come about in the process of chasing girls.
Actually, if anything the opposite is true.
I have written before about how, as a player, you may well get more sex than other people. But you also suffer a load more rejections, a lot more flakes, and you make more errors out in the field. It’s a simple case of volume. The more approaches you make the more opportunities you have to mess up. And as much as I can put together a pretty good article advising guys on how to act in a particular situation, and I know all the theory backwards, the truth is that real life throws up so many curveballs, so many quirks of personality, and so many grey areas where one strategy may or may not be preferable to another, that in the moment it’s quite possible for even the most experienced guy to make the wrong call.
For the record I don’t consider myself the best ‘pick-up artist’ out there. Actually I don’t even consider myself a PUA. The best I can say is that I’m a guy who has approached a ton of women, made a ton of mistakes and ended up having had a high number of sex partners. As a result I have a pretty good idea of what works . . . and what doesn’t work.
I’m also a good writer, so I can produce what I believe is useful content out of the scenarios I find myself in. Not all guys—and certainly not most naturals—have either the time, ability or inclination to do the same. Whereas if I wind up having sex with some crazy Lithuanian chick in Ibiza then I can put out an article describing not only what happened, but also why what I did worked—and how it can work for other guys too.
But the truth of the matter is that success is never guaranteed for anyone with any individual girl. Yes, you will doubtless see an upward curve over time if you work hard on your game and if you apply the advice I give you. But it would be disingenuous for any coach to claim that his method is failsafe and that you can get every girl in all circumstances.
That would be ridiculous.
As with other game writers, I talk a lot about the value of abundance. If you have a lot of girls on the go, if you spin plates, so the theory goes, then you will feel less bad if one of them falls by the wayside—which, by the way, is inevitable over the longer term.
And it’s true. Abundance is the best insulation I know against the vicissitudes of the market. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t sting when you get rejected, when an approach blows up in your face, when a girl on your rotation you particularly like drops off, or when you make the wrong call and kill a promising lead before it comes to fruition.
And all of these things can and do happen. Frequently. And while understanding intellectually why they happen and having other options definitely helps, it doesn’t always remove the sting entirely.
I think I’ve messed up with Anna, the Belarusian girl. I think I can pinpoint the exact moment. I made an overly-suggestive comment at the club the other night and I don’t think she appreciated it. It’s easy, sometimes to do this kind of thing. Before we get into game we have the idea that girls are these delicate snowflakes and we can never say anything even vaguely naughty in front of them or they’ll decompose before our eyes.
Actually, this is very far from true. Girls are highly sexual creatures and you can banter with them a hell of a lot more than you think. But sometimes you can overstep the line. The problem is, the location of that line varies from girl to girl, so you can never be quite sure precisely where it lies.
So I think I’ve messed it up with the Belarusian girl and yes, it stings. It stings even though I have a date later with another girl I met at Kit Kat. It stings even though I’m currently messaging the Hungarian, who may be coming over to spend a few days with me here in Berlin. It stings even though the Polish girl I met at KitKat is coming back from holiday soon. It stings even though in London there is the Korean 23 year old and the Lithuanian stripper and the Greek girl. It stings even though I just banged that other Lithuanian girl in Ibiza.
Abundance helps a lot, but it doesn’t entirely remove all feelings. Why am I bothered about the Belarusian girl? For no reason other than that she is really, really beautiful. And when I meet someone who is really, really beautiful then I have to have her.
Yes, I am that shallow.
But there’s one thing I am certain of, and it’s this. I’d far rather be in my situation than that of my former self who, if he lost one girl had no idea at all how to meet another. Because since I’ve put the time in, and since I’ve learned game, I’ve never been through a significant dry spell in my sex life. So as painful as it can be even for the most avowed player to lose out with a particular girl, it is never as bad as it could be for the man who, without game, has no obvious alternative options to turn to at all.
For exclusive additional free content every week join my subscribers list here.
For daily updates follow me on Twitter
Read More: How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed