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Yes, Rejection From a Hot Girl Stings – Even For a Player

rejection from a hot girl

I was chatting to a friend of mine yesterday, a pickup coach, and we were saying that becoming known for giving game advice—by creating content, making videos, writing articles or whatever—puts you into this odd category where the people don’t expect you to be subject to the normal jealousies, fears and frustrations that come about in the process of chasing girls.

Actually, if anything the opposite is true.

I have written before about how, as a player, you may well get more sex than other people. But you also suffer a load more rejections, a lot more flakes, and you make more errors out in the field. It’s a simple case of volume. The more approaches you make the more opportunities you have to mess up. And as much as I can put together a pretty good article advising guys on how to act in a particular situation, and I know all the theory backwards, the truth is that real life throws up so many curveballs, so many quirks of personality, and so many grey areas where one strategy may or may not be preferable to another, that in the moment it’s quite possible for even the most experienced guy to make the wrong call.

For the record I don’t consider myself the best ‘pick-up artist’ out there. Actually I don’t even consider myself a PUA. The best I can say is that I’m a guy who has approached a ton of women, made a ton of mistakes and ended up having had a high number of sex partners. As a result I have a pretty good idea of what works . . . and what doesn’t work.

I’m also a good writer, so I can produce what I believe is useful content out of the scenarios I find myself in. Not all guys—and certainly not most naturals—have either the time, ability or inclination to do the same. Whereas if I wind up having sex with some crazy Lithuanian chick in Ibiza then I can put out an article describing not only what happened, but also why what I did worked—and how it can work for other guys too.

But the truth of the matter is that success is never guaranteed for anyone with any individual girl. Yes, you will doubtless see an upward curve over time if you work hard on your game and if you apply the advice I give you. But it would be disingenuous for any coach to claim that his method is failsafe and that you can get every girl in all circumstances.

That would be ridiculous.

Abundance

hot girl rejectionhot girl rejectionhot girl rejection

As with other game writers, I talk a lot about the value of abundance. If you have a lot of girls on the go, if you spin plates, so the theory goes, then you will feel less bad if one of them falls by the wayside—which, by the way, is inevitable over the longer term.

And it’s true. Abundance is the best insulation I know against the vicissitudes of the market. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t sting when you get rejected, when an approach blows up in your face, when a girl on your rotation you particularly like drops off, or when you make the wrong call and kill a promising lead before it comes to fruition.

And all of these things can and do happen. Frequently. And while understanding intellectually why they happen and having other options definitely helps, it doesn’t always remove the sting entirely.

I think I’ve messed up with Anna, the Belarusian girl.  I think I can pinpoint the exact moment. I made an overly-suggestive comment at the club the other night and I don’t think she appreciated it. It’s easy, sometimes to do this kind of thing. Before we get into game we have the idea that girls are these delicate snowflakes and we can never say anything even vaguely naughty in front of them or they’ll decompose before our eyes.

Actually, this is very far from true. Girls are highly sexual creatures and you can banter with them a hell of a lot more than you think. But sometimes you can overstep the line. The problem is, the location of that line varies from girl to girl, so you can never be quite sure precisely where it lies.

So I think I’ve messed it up with the Belarusian girl and yes, it stings. It stings even though I have a date later with another girl I met at Kit Kat. It stings even though I’m currently messaging the Hungarian, who may be coming over to spend a few days with me here in Berlin. It stings even though the Polish girl I met at KitKat is coming back from holiday soon.  It stings even though in London there is the Korean 23 year old and the Lithuanian stripper and the Greek girl. It stings even though I just banged that other Lithuanian girl in Ibiza.

Abundance helps a lot, but it doesn’t entirely remove all feelings. Why am I bothered about the Belarusian girl? For no reason other than that she is really, really beautiful. And when I meet someone who is really, really beautiful then I have to have her.

Yes, I am that shallow.

But there’s one thing I am certain of, and it’s this. I’d far rather be in my situation than that of my former self who, if he lost one girl had no idea at all how to meet another. Because since I’ve put the time in, and since I’ve learned game, I’ve never been through a significant dry spell in my sex life. So as painful as it can be even for the most avowed player to lose out with a particular girl, it is never as bad as it could be for the man who, without game, has no obvious alternative options to turn to at all.

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tfadmin

Matt - June 27, 2017

Good writing cunt.

Better than most of the women bashing over on ROK

    tfadmin - June 27, 2017

    Thank you, sir!

      Matt - June 27, 2017

      Strange you haven’t got more comments on your articles.
      The content is pretty good.
      Maybe your writing intimidates the shit out of the average dude

        tfadmin - June 27, 2017

        Thanks man! How do you mean intimidates? Troy

          Matt - June 27, 2017

          I think a lot of lads spend too much time reading manosphere blogs, stuck in their comfort zone and not enough in reality.

          Your articles pretty accurately describes the player lifestyle and what it takes to pull hot birds regularly.

          It probably scares the shit out of the average fella that just wants to read an article on how women are so fucked up to make himself feel better for not having any pick up skills.

          tfadmin - June 27, 2017

          Thanks man. I don’t like the woman-hating stuff you get on the other sites and it’s not a route I’ll go down here. Personally I think both men and women are flawed in different ways. No one’s innocent here. And aside from that, what good does hating girls do anyway? For me it’s about finding ways to get what you want in life in spite of the challenges. Unfortunately that takes work and a proactive attitude, but there it is – no one said it was going to be easy!
          Cheers for reading mate.

          Bennett - June 27, 2017

          You guys are spot on. You can sense quite a bit of resentment and bitterness out there in the manosphere currently. It’s so much easier for men to complain then to step up their game. It’s amazing how it feels like a weight taken off your shoulders when you realize just how many beautiful women are out there and you don’t have to get hung up on any one particular girl. As cliche as it sounds, your attitude determines your altitude and you really do have to aim for the top when your improving any area of your life. Keep calm and approach!

          tfadmin - June 28, 2017

          Resentment, bitterness and misogyny are all just misdirected energy. Far better to be positive and live in the solution than wallow in self-pity and hate. Again, thanks for the comment! Troy

Bennett - June 27, 2017

Well put. I hear you man. It still stings when a real stunner falls off after the first or second meet-up without sealing the deal. But like you say, the real problem is scheduling when you have so many leads from apparoaching. I’ve been taking your advice and just deleting the contact info if things don’t progress. Having another date set up later in the week with a different young beauty is great and a new day of fresh approaches is always something to look forward to.

    tfadmin - June 28, 2017

    Yes, the best strategy is to take the sting, acknowledge it and then move on. Too many times in the past I’d end up looking weak by continuing to try to reignite a lead which had messed up for whatever reason. I’ve since learned that it’s far better to cut your losses and move on, since it’s easier to impress a new chick than to alter the opinion of one with whom you already have some history.

    Cheers for commenting – keep in touch, let me know how you’re getting om! Troy.

Kashanova - June 30, 2017

Do you know what I like about your writing Troy.
You have the balls to admit that even at your level, you still make mistakes.
Most of the guys over at RoK won’t admit to that, cause it will bruise there ego.
But you my friend as humble. Respect mate!

    tfadmin - July 2, 2017

    Many thanks man. I think it’s important to paint an honest picture of how it really is. Anyone trying to claim they get every girl all the time is lying. Cheers! Troy

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