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What Should My Opening Line To A Hot Girl Be?

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The following was posted on Reddit Seduction yesterday by a poster called justsomethrowawayacc—I hope he won’t mind me quoting him in full here:

So I was at a club maybe a month or two ago, and it was my first time, so I was naturally sort of uncomfortable with the amount of people around me and loud music and such. I saw this guy go up to a girl (both maybe in their early 20s) and say “Hi I’m _________, I just thought I’d come up and talk to you.” He said something else after and she seemed to laugh, and they continued the conversation. Does that line actually work as an opener into a conversation? At first I thought he was being foolish and it looked awkward. I wasn’t sure if she was laughing out of attraction or just being polite so to speak. On the other hand, I thought, at least he’s trying and it’s better than just staring idly and never approaching. Does being this “direct” actually work?

I found this interesting as I believe it speaks to the fear that ‘game aware’ men have of acting normally around girls. Knowledge of game, while essential for all men, brings with it a certain amount of baggage, even competitive anxiety. But in order to be truly effective we need to let go of being a ‘master PUA’ and allow ourselves to act naturally.

I completely identify with justsomethrowawayacc’s point of view here. I have felt—and still to this day sometimes feel—exactly the same way. You see here’s the thing. We read all these pick-up blogs and books, and watch all these videos on YouTube—this great content brought to us by very intelligent men who really know how about women.

We hear about DHVs (demonstrations of higher value), stacking, vibing, and how seeding in subtly sexual language can get a girl turned on and eager. All of this knowledge is extremely valuable. But it also gives makes us fearful of being straightforward.

Because now that we know all of this stuff that the average man in the street doesn’t know—about women, their sexuality, what makes them tick—how can we possibly just walk up to a girl and say hi? What switch is that flicking? What are we triggering? How does “Hi, I’m . . . ” demonstrate higher value? How is it ‘game’?

But we forget that an opener is just that, a way of opening a conversation.

It’s odd. Before I got into game I would go up to girls in clubs and say hello. Often it would work fine. And yet after I read The Game and started taking advice online it was as though I had had an overnight brain transfusion. Now, all of a sudden, it seemed impossible that you could walk up with anything so simple!

To be a player you had to approach with an ‘opinion opener’ (‘Who lies more—men or women?’) to get her to warm up and talk. You might even start off with a ‘neg’ (‘Nice hair colour—is it natural?’) to show that you had higher value than her. But to simply say ‘hi’—beta, lame, unworkable!

The second thing that we forget is that, in the words of RSD’s Tyler (Owen Cook) ‘I am enough.’ When you think about it, all of the apparatus of game, all the clever lines and techniques, are really there to help you appear to be a confident, natural alpha. But imagine for one moment you really were a confident, natural alpha? Would you need clever lines? Do you think the confident jocks you see who get girls so easily are spitting Shakespeare? Of course they’re not. In the main they’re walking up and saying ‘Hi, I’m Troy. You’re kinda cute.’

opening lineopening line

It was a real paradigm shift for me when I realised this, ironically one that took me back to somewhere close to where I’d started. Because it suddenly occurred to me that I could cut out the middleman. I could stop being so ‘gamey’, so like a cliche of a pickup artist, and instead I could simply play the high value man that I actually was instead.

Think about it like this. If approach the hottest girl in the club and recite some carefully-composed game routine you prepared earlier she’s going to see through that. She will have enough social savvy and experience to know exactly what you’re doing. And she will also know why (although she might not be able to articulate it consciously): you’re clinging to the training wheels of ‘game’ precisely because you are a low value male who isn’t used to getting girls.

If, on the other hand, you walk up and say something casual like ‘Hey, I’m Troy. I couldn’t help but notice you’re kinda cute,’ (or whatever) and you do it with the right alpha subcommunication then you’re signalling something else, something a lot more compelling. That you are a man who does this often and gets results. That you’re a guy who doesn’t have to try too hard.

Remember, as Rollo of the Rational Male says, women want a man who just gets it. It is imperative that you know the underlying structure of game, how to move from one phase of seduction to the next. It is vital that you come across as dominant and that you lead. You must always be escalating. But you should aim to do all of this in as ‘natural’ a way as possible. Like a man who ‘just gets it.’

Which means that walking up to her and saying ‘Hi, I’m . . . . . ‘ sounds just about right.

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Thinking Out Loud - July 9, 2017

I’ve been wondering for a while, what’s your general type of approach – more direct or indirect? I’ve seen an older article on RoK where you mention the advantages and disadvantages of both, but it’s hard to picture you walking down the street and asking for directions. What’s your personal experience?

Me personally, I would love to go more direct, I’m really in love with the way Tom Torero does it, but I also fear I will have a lot less success with it than with indirect approaches. But then there are these indirect approaches where I can see in their eyes they know I don’t care about their phones and they are just waiting for me to hit on them, and I’m sometimes wondering if direct would’ve been better in these situations.

    tfadmin - July 9, 2017

    Good question.For me pretty much always direct these days – both in night game and day game. It’s partly a personality thing – I’d rather just cut to the chase. It’s also, as Tom always says, about not hiding your dick. And with indirect you have to transition from asking where the Apple store is, or whatever, to hitting on her. So my strategy is high risk, high reward. Yes, I may lose the odd girl as a result, but I prefer to be honest and upfront and let the chips fall where they may.

    Have you done much direct? Where are you based?

      Thinking Out Loud - July 9, 2017

      I live near Düsseldorf.

      I didn’t do much direct, but I wanna try it out more.

      I started writing about my approaches here, and I will keep updating it.


      The relevant passages on my direct approaches.

      “I started in May at a German Role Play Convention. My first approach was a direct one, but one with a girl that worked there. She was just too cute, freckles and red, natural hair – I have a weakness for those. I told her I thought she looked really attractive. She said “thank you” and then immediately led into what she’s doing there, pointing out her husband sitting there at the table within the first minute. I totally did not have any idea of what to say. But after I left, I felt a real rush of confidence. If I had done that once, I could do it again.”

      “On the second day of the convention I had another nice conversation with a cute girl that I went semi-direct on. I opened indirectly, but quickly gave her a compliment for her outfit. She started giggling at that point, and pretty much did every now and then for almost the entire conversation. We made some small talk and I went for the number, but the boyfriend-line made me give up. I was really on a high after that, because the interaction was still so positive. But after that I hit a low, when I approached a girl and said I liked her style, and she smiled, held her thumb up and kept walking. It was probably the most mild form of rejection I have experienced thus far, yet at that time that really put me down.”

      “I once approached a girl from behind, touching her arm and she spun around, startled, and asked “Are you retarded?” and left. I guess I am.”

      “I tried some direct approaches, because I thought that’s the way to do daygame. One day I approached 3 girls. The first one said “Thank you”, but said she had to get to her class. The second one stood there and talked to me for a minute or two, even smiling and looking intrigued. I felt like I went too much into nice guy talk and interview mode though, and she walked away soon saying she needed to meet her friend. The third approach just walked past me and looked at me weird. Was a bad note to end that on, and that probably factored into me abandoning direct game shortly after. One day later, I tried one more direct approach in front of a cinema. I was totally nervous and she probably knew. She looked at me sideways. I must’ve come across as really awkward, probably also because it was the first approach of the day. We talked about the movies we were going to see. I cut the conversation short and retreated. It took about a month for me to try direct game again and it wasn’t that good so far either.”

      “I tried direct game one more time some day and she just kept moving. Demotivated me again so I went back to indirect.”

      “So today I wanted to try it direct. There was an Indian street parade outside, so I went looking for some cute Indian girls. Most of them looked too young though and they were also guarded by Indian men. So I just kept walking around for 2 hours, like I sometimes like to do. It was a Sunday, so not much I could do anyway. Somewhere around an hour in, I see two girls, but they look a bit young, and I don’t dare to go direct there, lest I get the “I’m this young, what are you thinking” in front of other people. I don’t wanna die getting killed by some street mob. In hindsight, I should’ve gone indirect with them to assess their age first. So I keep walking and I see an older woman. I walk towards her, hold my hand out, say “stop” and tell her she looks nice. She looks at me, smiles, and I see she’s a bit older than I thought she would be and didn’t really look that good. I keep going “And you’re going to the park to enjoy this Sunday”. She must’ve misunderstood, cause she said “No, I have family, I am busy”, and left. Kinda glad she did. She even had a weird mole on her back. I then kept walking and some guy working on some car was eyeing me, maybe her husband. I couldn’t find a single good-looking girl and just gave up and went home. Should’ve probably gone deeper into the city, but felt like exploring a bit.”

      “Anyway, I’m not done with direct approaches. I have almost zero approach anxiety with indirect approaches, because how much AA can you have there really, so I wanna push myself and at least try to get some good direct approaches.”

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