The following was posted on Reddit Seduction yesterday by a poster called justsomethrowawayacc—I hope he won’t mind me quoting him in full here:
So I was at a club maybe a month or two ago, and it was my first time, so I was naturally sort of uncomfortable with the amount of people around me and loud music and such. I saw this guy go up to a girl (both maybe in their early 20s) and say “Hi I’m _________, I just thought I’d come up and talk to you.” He said something else after and she seemed to laugh, and they continued the conversation. Does that line actually work as an opener into a conversation? At first I thought he was being foolish and it looked awkward. I wasn’t sure if she was laughing out of attraction or just being polite so to speak. On the other hand, I thought, at least he’s trying and it’s better than just staring idly and never approaching. Does being this “direct” actually work?
I found this interesting as I believe it speaks to the fear that ‘game aware’ men have of acting normally around girls. Knowledge of game, while essential for all men, brings with it a certain amount of baggage, even competitive anxiety. But in order to be truly effective we need to let go of being a ‘master PUA’ and allow ourselves to act naturally.
I completely identify with justsomethrowawayacc’s point of view here. I have felt—and still to this day sometimes feel—exactly the same way. You see here’s the thing. We read all these pick-up blogs and books, and watch all these videos on YouTube—this great content brought to us by very intelligent men who really know how about women.
We hear about DHVs (demonstrations of higher value), stacking, vibing, and how seeding in subtly sexual language can get a girl turned on and eager. All of this knowledge is extremely valuable. But it also gives makes us fearful of being straightforward.
Because now that we know all of this stuff that the average man in the street doesn’t know—about women, their sexuality, what makes them tick—how can we possibly just walk up to a girl and say hi? What switch is that flicking? What are we triggering? How does “Hi, I’m . . . ” demonstrate higher value? How is it ‘game’?
But we forget that an opener is just that, a way of opening a conversation.
It’s odd. Before I got into game I would go up to girls in clubs and say hello. Often it would work fine. And yet after I read The Game and started taking advice online it was as though I had had an overnight brain transfusion. Now, all of a sudden, it seemed impossible that you could walk up with anything so simple!
To be a player you had to approach with an ‘opinion opener’ (‘Who lies more—men or women?’) to get her to warm up and talk. You might even start off with a ‘neg’ (‘Nice hair colour—is it natural?’) to show that you had higher value than her. But to simply say ‘hi’—beta, lame, unworkable!
The second thing that we forget is that, in the words of RSD’s Tyler (Owen Cook) ‘I am enough.’ When you think about it, all of the apparatus of game, all the clever lines and techniques, are really there to help you appear to be a confident, natural alpha. But imagine for one moment you really were a confident, natural alpha? Would you need clever lines? Do you think the confident jocks you see who get girls so easily are spitting Shakespeare? Of course they’re not. In the main they’re walking up and saying ‘Hi, I’m Troy. You’re kinda cute.’
It was a real paradigm shift for me when I realised this, ironically one that took me back to somewhere close to where I’d started. Because it suddenly occurred to me that I could cut out the middleman. I could stop being so ‘gamey’, so like a cliche of a pickup artist, and instead I could simply play the high value man that I actually was instead.
Think about it like this. If approach the hottest girl in the club and recite some carefully-composed game routine you prepared earlier she’s going to see through that. She will have enough social savvy and experience to know exactly what you’re doing. And she will also know why (although she might not be able to articulate it consciously): you’re clinging to the training wheels of ‘game’ precisely because you are a low value male who isn’t used to getting girls.
If, on the other hand, you walk up and say something casual like ‘Hey, I’m Troy. I couldn’t help but notice you’re kinda cute,’ (or whatever) and you do it with the right alpha subcommunication then you’re signalling something else, something a lot more compelling. That you are a man who does this often and gets results. That you’re a guy who doesn’t have to try too hard.
Remember, as Rollo of the Rational Male says, women want a man who just gets it. It is imperative that you know the underlying structure of game, how to move from one phase of seduction to the next. It is vital that you come across as dominant and that you lead. You must always be escalating. But you should aim to do all of this in as ‘natural’ a way as possible. Like a man who ‘just gets it.’
Which means that walking up to her and saying ‘Hi, I’m . . . . . ‘ sounds just about right.
Read More: How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed