Much approach anxiety is generated simply by men’s tendency to overthink the situation and to invest too much into the outcome. Instead, you should aim to think less and to invest less into any overall outcome.
I like to call this the caveman method.
Next time you’re out and about, either in a club on in the street, I want you to imagine that you are a caveman. That is, I want you to forget that you are an intelligent, civilised being. Instead, I want you to imagine that you are little more than an animal who acts entirely on his instincts.
Then, when you see a pretty girl, I want you to do what a caveman would do. No, not club her over the head (don’t be silly!) Just walk up to her, tell her you think she’s cute and introduce yourself. See what happens and don’t give a shit about the outcome.
You think a being little more than an animal is going to give a shit about whether some girl knocks them back? Do you really think he’s more invested in this one ‘working out’ than any other. No, of course he doesn’t–he just wants to get laid.
(And yes, I know all about the real evolutionary tribal risks of being rejected for prehistoric dudes. But this is a metaphor, OK – just go with me on this!)
If you go out with purposefully to play the caveman then you can’t go wrong. Because you are only playacting. You are only doing what that imaginary caveman would do. In other words you’re not ‘being yourself’—you’re playing a character.
Ironically, it is by playing a character that you will enable yourself to get closer to who you really are. Because when you think about it, a lot of the time we’re dishonest—with ourselves and with the girls we come into contact with. We’re dishonest because we don’t make our natural desires known. we cover them up. We are polite when really we want to say ‘you’re beautiful, I want to fuck you.’ We pretend to be her friend instead.
The caveman is not polite because he hasn’t been taught to be so. He doesn’t have the faculty for it. Instead, the caveman is direct and he is unapologetic about what he wants. He doesn’t think too much. He just acts.
Go out today and be a caveman. You won’t always get what you want. But you will be truer to yourself than when you are just yourself and you will open up more opportunities that are likely to lead to good things than ever before.
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