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Why Misogyny Will Wreck Your Chances With Hot Girls


Misogyny will ruin your game, no two ways about it. If you hate women, if you feel wronged by women, if you believe that women are the enemy but you still want to sleep with them then you have a problem. Because feeling that way is not helping you get laid. In fact, it’s making it much more likely that you will go to be alone with only your hand for comfort.

All the greatest seducers I’ve ever met—and I’ve met plenty of them, both well-known pickup artists and anonymous Casanovas—share one thing in common. They love women. They love talking to women, they love spending time with women, they love goofing off and having a laugh with women, and they enjoy that unique ‘feminine energy’ that you get from spending time with women.

Does that make them weak or not ‘alpha’? No—because at the same time these men don’t put women on pedestals either. They don’t believe in ‘the one’, they don’t believe that women are special and unique snowflakes, or that they are all innocent sweetness and light. Their view of women is balanced.

Now, before I start getting angry comments and emails about this I can assure you that I am neither a feminist nor a white knight. I am not for one moment suggesting that women should be let off the hook for their bad behaviour, when it occurs. I am also not arguing against the view that the power balance in contemporary society has swung rather more in favour of the female than the male. I do however believe that not only is misogyny counter-productive and won’t lead to happiness, but also that it is illogical.


Women, like men, are animals. OK, we’ve all evolved a bit so we shave most of our hair off and we have fancy clothes and gadgets and the women wear make-up. But beneath that very thin facade we are all animals. Despite some relatively superficial socialisation that has taken place over the last couple of thousand years, we are all effectively still operating on a system that was embedded in us in prehistoric times.

OK, we have some social conventions around ethics (bolstered by religion) that most of us pay lip-service to when other people are looking, but fundamentally all of us are out for ourselves and will do what we can to get the best deal for ourselves (and perhaps our families also). In this women are no different to men.

If you have read books like Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi, The Evolution of Desire by David Buss, or The Selfish Gene by Dawkins then you will be aware that women have a dual sexual strategy. This is basically to mate with the ‘bad boys’ with superior genes and then to settle down and marry the ‘nice guys’ who are more suited to long-term partnerships, provisioning and raising families. This is at the heart of what we call ‘red pill’ awareness—that in fact women have a very narrow and specific agenda around sex that is less based on love and more based on what you might call (non pejoratively) biological opportunism.

But men too have their own sexual strategy, which is to sleep with as many fertile young women as they possibly can. Granted many don’t enact this strategy, either because they are unable to or through their own ethical code, but it is there, nonetheless. Even men who are married and faithful will joke about the hot girl at the gym or the office with their friends.

I find it difficult to see why we should hate either gender for its innate biological tendencies in the same way that I don’t hate cats for killing mice or dogs for crapping on the pavement. It’s just how it is. Now, if I have a cat that I know is likely to bring dead mice in and leave them on the carpet then I will take steps to stop it from doing so. But I won’t hate it for having the instinct or complain that ‘things shouldn’t be like that’. After all, hunting is an inherent part of feline nature.


In the same way I find it illogical to hate women for the way that they can behave. I have had some very bad experiences in the past. I’ve been cheated on, dumped, treated unfairly and so on by individual girls. But I have never made the leap to hating all women as a consequence. Not, by the way, because I think ‘not all women are like that’ (NAWALT) but rather because it seems to me as illogical as hating the cat. As time has gone on and I’ve grown, through experience, reading and talking to other people, to understand the pitfalls that can lie within intergender relations and I have become able to proceed more strategically and in such a way as to protect my own interests.

If you are someone who has been fucked over by a girlfriend or ex-wife or whatever and now you are going around hating women I believe, therefore, that you are making an error of logic. But perhaps worse than that, the chances are your animosity is coming across as butthurtness.

Why? Look, we all know by now that fear always lurks behind anger. If you are angry with someone or something then most likely it’s because some element of your security is being threatened. If you are angry with women it is because you are afraid that they can hurt you—by rejecting you, by choosing another man over you, by cuckolding you, by divorce-raping you and so on.

Now think for a moment about your idea of a stone-cold alpha dude or a dark triad shitlord (the very guys that the hottest women gush in the kickers for). Would that guy be afraid of what some girl could do to him? Of course not.

For that guy, women are a pleasant diversion that don’t weigh too heavily on his mind since (1) he has an abundance of them and (2) he has far more important things to think about anyway (his mission). He finds women amusing, whimsical. He keeps them around as long as they entertain them and he lets them go when they become too much hassle.

If you are walking around scowling with righteous anger about ‘women today’ or ‘the state of women’ or anything like that, then not only are you likely not a barrel of laughs to hang out with, but also you’ve shown your hand—as a guy who is the antithesis of that high-value cool man that she actually wants to fuck.

I understand that bad shit happens to men (as it does to women, too) and that guys get hurt and angry. It’s natural. It’s happened to me. But if you’re experiencing those feelings then think about what they are doing to your vibe; think about what message you are communicating to the world. For the sake of personal pride and dignity as much as anything else you should work hard to reach a more balanced state of mind. No, don’t bow down before women like they’re little goddesses—they’re not—but don’t hate them for being what they are either. Perhaps most importantly, strive to develop other passions outside of getting laid or relationships or whatever, so that in time the doings of girls are but a distant speck on the periphery of your interests.

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Martin - May 13, 2017

tom torero is all about this and his podcasts also about why the manosphere gets it wrong

    tfadmin - May 13, 2017

    Yes, and he’s 100% right. Thanks for the comment mate.

      TitanErik - May 15, 2017

      Does Tom know or mind that you repackage a lot of his stuff? I like your original writings on things like office game and your past but the Torero material is obvious. Come on bro, you don’t need to copy!

        tfadmin - May 15, 2017

        I think a lot of current game writers are repackaging – or let’s say ‘are inspired by’ – material that comes from way before Tom, as great as he is – David Deangelo, Mystery, 60 Years of Challenge, RSD and so on. I don’t think there’s any problem with this as many people are covering similar territory and I think each individual perspective adds to the overall body of knowledge.

        If you’re talking about this specific article, it just reflects my personal view on misogyny which I’ve held for a long time. If you read 7 Laws of Seduction or my old Return of Kings articles you’ll see that. The fact that I happen to hold the same opinion on this as Tom or anyone else is irrelevant. I’m never going to write anything here that I don’t wholly believe and subscribe to myself.

          TitanErik - May 16, 2017

          The difference is that Torero references his influences and backs up his original ideas with infields.

          I’ve sent an email to Tom asking his opinion on your use of material from Badass Buddha, his Youtube content and podcasts as I just don’t think it’s on. There’s a difference between “being inspired by” and plagiarism.

          Anyway just my two cents. Still enjoy your original writing and look forward to seeing you in action.

          tfadmin - May 16, 2017

          I don’t want to be drawn into a discussion about a specific content creator in public but I resent your use of the word ‘plagiarism’ which you haven’t substantiated with any specifics, I suspect because you’re unable to do so. I like Tom’s stuff as I like content by a lot of other people but my message is markedly different to his – for one thing he is a daygame purist and I am not. Also if you look at the articles I publish here you will see plenty of content that Tom would never put out. I have no interest in copying anyone else but there is naturally some commonality in concepts which have been discussed in the community since the early 2000s. But of course I’m more than happy to pick up the conversation with Tom if he so wishes.

          Also I always reference my influences and indeed have referenced TT more than once on the site.

          Cheers, Troy

          tfadmin - May 16, 2017

          By the way, Infields on the way – but you are moving the goalposts there rather sneakily since whether I put out Infields is a separate issue to the more slanderous claim that I am a plagiarist. Cheers, Troy

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